The ability to effectively wield words at times like these, when someone once so close to you dies. And the evidence of its effect trips up that natural ability to express very much that is useful to recall about what has been buried so deeply for so long. Now, of course, so unexpectedly exhumed It is a sad state of affairs to realize how tenuous life connections are. And yet so persistent are the bonds of affection forged with the lives of others. And unfortunately, how jarring their passings can be to bear witness to one’s own now evidently more tenuous existence. Especially when these episodes too often recall other episodes exposing your own impotence and frailty before the aims and actions of that other. So much can be said about the impressions that still float about deep within long reviewed. How much is lost in renewed interest and sorted away by the rules of propriety as one knows it? As usual, the ones still living are cast in the role of the ultimate fools as we are left behind before the veil of the question of meaning in this existence. While those that have past on have that question already definitively answered.
Once again I find myself unexpectedly cast adrift betwixt the shoals of a persistent melancholy. Perhaps not so much in sadness as thoughtful pause. Reminded that one lives their life despite any sense of a coming end to it. And the grace one shows at those points of termination of its meander demonstrates the grace that one may have accumulated along the way. There is no lasting continuation of one’s existence in achieving a measure of fame. Those accomplishments that one fantasizes as important a bit of dust piled up upon old furniture on its final journey to the tip. The recollection of these impulses as demonstrated by others recorded throughout he lens of one’s own desires equally insufficient to capture that moth as it enters the final fatal oblivion of tits own flame. One dreams of the phoenix but remembers that such a mythical bird only exists in legend not in the thinness of the passing illusion of hope of any permanence in this life.