One day you wake up and realize that you have run out of people that know you. Those who know where you came from yet still love you. You dream at night or muse on during the day as if nothing has changed but in the next heartbeat you realize that your just dreaming about the past. Some time that you realize must have been a year if it wasn’t five of more since you’ve run into those king of people. The list that you once counted upon is all crossed off to the last name. Do you change your will? What the hell does it matter anyhow? You’re off to oblivion, and you know it. The dreams of the night before are so much more part of the thoughts of the day. You can’t quite separate those events from the lack of anything important enough to compete. You go on. And those times that you thing you can’t, when your convinced you can’t take any more, you take another step forward.
You pour yourself a drink from that good brand that was on sale for a change. Maybe you couldn’t really afford it anymore but what else is there left? You’re heading for a fall. It’s not going to go that far, because you’re not a practiced drunk after all. Who has that kind of stick-to-it-ativeness anymore? Your twenties are simply an intellectual exercise that might have been attributed to someone else. Who knows? The drink has plenty of ice and you’re starting to feel good. You lean back into another artifact that you have a mistaken impression that is still new. How could time fly and leave you deposited in this spot? Where is the fun that once went along with it? The TV is on and for a moment you are in real time. What has changed? You’re carrying an Olympic sized paunch. Something that in your own youth you would have made light of. Now the burden has been passed on to you. Somebody’s got to do it after all. So why not you?
The room is empty like your heart. Nothing to speak of. If someone touched you now you might be astounded and ask why they even bother? Nothing still gets through. Too many disappointments, so you don’t expect much more. So be it. Happiness is for the TV alone. Their always smiling. But then, they’ve got product to sell. Perhaps it has always been like this? But now you know it. That is what age does. It brings a brand of surety just like the good stuff in your glass. You’ll make it along. Just like all those other old guys that you once saw a millions years back when you were too still unsure if they even heard you when you said a word or two. The funny thing is that they did hear you. But then they were just thinking about themselves when they were your age. Just like you are now. Nobody grows old. They just die.
The ice is melting now. And it is all getting watery and doesn’t taste the same. Ok, so be it.