A spectacular night! Cool and clear fresh air the sky painted with real clouds. Two thirds of a moon high and bright ready to make a slow descent to earth to disappear past the barrier of the horizon by morning. This voice expected to be familiar now in the dark no longer my own. A version of my father’s in the tone with the wit in phrasing of a bygone mother. A musical tone? Or perhaps an aroma not encountered for many decades or more? A simple whiff bringing back a long ago past just for an instant. One who’s immediacy comes and goes and is immediately forgotten in the moment after. Solitary and all alone. Old friends, relatives and lovers now available only in fleeting memory the need for same a vacancy open to all comers. The draft from an open window is invigorating. The computer on an old film introduced by that early sixties characteristic chorus singing wrought by the likes of Henry Mancini. Hopping to Frank Sinatra’s upbeat rendition of “The Days Of Wine And Roses.” Wind’s whisper just outside the window’s slant. That next instant after those bygone voices have suddenly died away. More of the night pouring in unabated. Their words call still palpable somewhere deep inside. The phantoms of my family’s former existence passing through my heart’s strings like a cold yet wistful lazy cloud. Dissipated. But ever present. Happier times so unsuspected way back then as simple banality of another evening at their inception. The fear of loss was unthinkable then just left outside. I was barely out of being a child back then but I have become one again. Remembering those places that had sadness for some of those occasional others sitting on the periphery watching my story. And now knowing what they meant. Happy times with those that I loved so much without bothering to know it. Not giving it a second thought! Those moments now so much more precious than all the gold and diamonds that could be wrenched from every corner of an empty earth. Cool, clear and freshened memory. Like the next drink set before you in a newly cleaned frosty glass. Drink deep for the liquor goes quick and all you are left with is the memory of it’s emptiness.
Those Days Of Wine And Roses