“This is such a silly game that I am playing out to its illogical conclusion.”, he said to her. He waited for a span of minutes for a reply but found that there was not one word forthcoming in response from the empty darkness that encased the room. It was not an issue as since nothing was moved he could move about the room by memory. No errant shoes left in the major footpaths to trip over that his short term memory could recall. The first hot days of the season were now arrived and the building cooling plant had been officially denoted as faulty. Insomnia had a friend. The extra accumulation of weight around the middle causing palpable discomfort that found its crescendo three hours after midnight. It was a good time to think about throwing in the towel. His own father had. An unusually energetic man in his prime his families’ expectations had overloaded him and that long term fractured health had led to an inordinate amount of discomfort. An inheritance that the middle aged man now was beginning to fully realize was his most major inheritance above and beyond anything material. The midst of the endless void of the surrounding universe seemed cool for a change.
Though the blower in his unit was dependent on the pumps of the building’s core to deliver cooled liquid to facilitate a more comfortable temperature the rheostat that governed its operation drove it on and off despite. Life’s ongoing existence seemed a deck of opposite possibilities that evened out along the way. It seemed contingent given the odd sense of symmetry that the species had been cast within. The notions of a slow measured amount of changing morphology come of a faster moving set of changing circumstances leading to useful mutations. Never in collective memory have so many people been extent upon the finite expanse of thin frosting of terrain known loosely to its occupants as their planet. Never had their been so many types of diseases to afflict them. The most obviously dominant based upon proclivity and visual impact being the hairless biped ape. A marvel of both some lost form of extraterrestrial science as much as the incremental accretion of the nurturing environment that it tormented with its excess. The overwhelming complexity of uncountable interactions simply ignored or categorized on some deep dark mental shelf beside that internal Marianas trenched crevice of uncountable experiences.
Games after all were what drove him forth. The definition of a game being a voluntary elective experience governed by specific rules that could be played by the many as easily as the singular few. That is of course if this landscape running to the far horizon of daily consciousness was not simply a self-supported fantasy? A game! His physical embodiment as tuned device formed by longstanding habits and limiting provisos from endless layers of evolving experiences come of unforeseen random interactions. The goal of the game was to continue to play as unaffected by it as possible. One implicit condition of this execs was that his physical embodiment was finite. It could be modified to some level of reasonable degree to adjust to changing circumstance and being pushed at times beyond its capacity to enact repair. The slim amazingly energetic race horse of yesteryear worn over time into the recalcitrant mean tempered donkey that one most thoughtlessly abused. The popular analogy of the long distance runner offered to the current version of society being that one could moderate this process by careful animal husbandry. The former notion of nobility from two centuries passed being an interdependent relationship. One took care of the other and the other carried the former about. The trouble was at a certain juncture along the way it was harder and harder to get off one’s ‘ass‘. Other players became disenchanted or uncooperative. And the lack of social uniformity occasioned by the varying self-obsessions drove many apart along the trajectories of indecipherable logic. It was inevitable that at some point when one’s generation thinned that their own level of ability to participate in the extended ‘online version‘ diminished in kind.
The coolness of the infinite empty darkness stroked the nakedness of his resting animal. The curve of his back supported in simple reach of an open window. He could almost feel as if he was being offered up lock stock and barrel to parties unseen and unknown. These few hours before the approach of dawn allowed for contemplation of a much larger set of circumstances. The necessity of abiding to petty thoughts and mental rulings of daytime was superseded by a consciousness of the fact that one existed in a much more immense amphitheater whose confines were so immense and well draped that they could only be surmised when the nervous energy of the daily game had subsided for a while. Here in its center one was assured that there was another type of firmament that superseded the mental configuration that made their way into physical perception. Wasn’t it all just mental exercise he thought so many times at odd junctures during waking reality. The entire experience just endless corridors eked out leading to so many rooms excavated and then abandoned in one’s wake. The desire at times to try to retrace one’s steps if the path tread became to flint borne in hopes of a softer more amenable substance. This left things structurally as a simple analogy for the larger concept of same. Humanity was substantially no different then any other phylum in its ultimate aspirations. To continue on with one simple directive. At all costs, to survive!