It’s a night that has all the pretense of a cold October save a few degrees less. I walk home from a seance with strangers in near darkness of an early bright lit Friday night alone. The cars are driven by phantoms as they swish past the moisture laden wind. I am heading home. A few anonymous neighbors enter the main entry and we go about our own business with the mail. No more letters from old friends or monthly checks for services rendered.That is all past now. Gone like so many other things that once seem like permanent fixtures. The front door is opened and closed and barred for the night. A solitary kitchen light is all that is needed for that ritual of dispensing with keys, coat and shoes. How many similar circumstances from other times to make one expect another set of keys bedraggling the lock. Cold hands, cold lips and warm heart. So many who have come and gone in my life but I am always here left by myself alone. Sometimes waiting for the impossible as if those things still existed in the present.
My legacy is everything material that they owned in life that had not fallen by the wayside. The combination of all which acts as a bridge to choose to believe that they are not gone but just away. Perhaps a call finally tonight at long last? To know that wherever they re they are safe and maybe happy still to hear my voice? Much in the way that I am to hear their voices yet once more again. I am the living monument that vouches for the fact that they once were here as all those young are now. All those hopes and dreams that drove them to venture out and pursue the fruition for same. So many achievements enjoyed but empty now of those who made them. Ribbons and commemorative keepsakes. Money clips touting continued success as members of clubs that are as forgotten now as the household names of great companies that no longer exist. A vapor trail of daily passage stopped short. This unchanging set upon a stage that cannot but express but a hint of what was. The cold of coming Fall. Some fleeting warmth and total exhaustion.