There are many fables passed along through the millennia to our current centuries of certain conundrums that are insoluble yet pressing to the relations that all humans as a species suffer. Some make sense in a geographical sort of way as the need to nest with one’s polar opposite with the coming Spring each year. Some offered at dinner table debates as with the topic of the time at which the hunter gatherer turned agrarian. Or in cloister of ones’ man cave after dinner when the ‘better half‘ of the sexes split up for a more earnest transfer of detailed information the men sit cigar and brandy bound to ponder tall tales of their exploits teasing about the details of mankind’s oldest profession. To this end I am reminded of an incident of the mind within which both I and my best most trustworthy alter ego found ourselves in contradictory situation over the male foible for the soothing of that pernicious ever-present call for satisfaction of the loins. Pertaining of course to the equally ever-dangerous practice of looking a little too lovingly at the grass next door as it seems to grow in the territory of one’s closest neighbor. How much has been written of such regrettable situation since noble blind Homer stumbled across such hi-jinks two and a half millennia preceding? In the case of my own less epic history this failing being happily engaged in by my fellow. The two plus two of it posed lingering in my mind upon a particularly inhospitable night’s sup. One at which both he and his stunning paramour were joined for the evening by myself and a newly discovered companion. The two women at my table were distantly familiar with each other as acquaintances at work. And as such congenial to the max but ever safely distant in their relative spheres of emotional influence. The workmate of my friend’s soulmate equally lush and brunette though free spirited in a manner knowing few boundaries of the kind that oat sowing males are particularly fond of. The nature of the evening spent inhabiting a four spot of a local watering hole that provided relief from the relentless downpour outside. The hours wearing on in safety from the external deluge ultimately leading to a marathon convivial drinking by all of safely removed from its wrath. As bodily tolerance for such bouts of imbibing both body and spirit of John Barleycorn was in my own case ever stretched thin I found myself making excuses for the necessity of an early departure. A short task to ferry each to their own dry destinations.
It was very early morning after being physically sequestered in alcoholic stupor when I awoke much later in my corner of his two bedroom apartment to find him in a tizzy reeling dreamily about the bedroom running back ad forth by himself at a dizzying pace. He busily set about making adjustments rumpling a bed and planting other evidences suggesting his recent habitation. My inference of this odd behavior leading me to believe that his long enfranchised ‘steady’ would be bereft by way of this vitally physical documentation of his recent absence. It was difficult for me to comprehend the necessity of all these actions? That was until he let slip that the very same brunette that had spent the night across the table from us had unexpectedly expressed an interest in no uncertain terms conveying that she had taken a special liking for him. My sense of connection to this particular woman being somewhat hazy and now problematic I found myself taken aback by his demonstration of an unfettered willingness to engage in such a gambit? Something that I would have naturally assumed he would be fully aware would ultimately turn out to become fatal to the future of his primary relationship? As such I found myself upon his bed in the dilemma of who to side with in what would inevitably be an irrevocable conflict when his prime arrived. There is something of that classic mentality shared by both man and canine who despite the inability to express commiseration in a common tongue with both knowing that they have been guilty of having committed some unforgivable transgression. Something that connected to a similar power held by the female of the species in a particularly characteristic ability to detect such infidelities. Though my companion seemed more in the moment and oblivious of I found myself suffering this weighty dilemma on his behalf. The more that he frivolously bounced about the room replacing burned out light bulbs and strewing his clothing about creating the illusion that he had remained there uninterrupted since his arrival home, the more grief struck I became. What would I tell her when she would cast the first stony look in his direction signifying with unearthly gravity that she knew? She knew!
Yet from this universe of guile came rushing an absurd notion! Something that had not initially occurred within the confines of my own scattered brain stem. Something that the lizard brain portion currently enervating my friend into this waiting harbor of hurt would be incapable of realizing. A perception of reality that up to this point had not transpired for either of us. But was now so suddenly crystal clear. I picked up my face off the bed to look up around the room. My heart pounding as if I had been engaged within the rigors of an intense bout of extremely taxing exercise. There was now no hint of my fraternal friend now turned nemesis. The confusion about the room wrought by his mischief seemed inexplicably familiar. The pair of pants laying rumpled beside the bed. The shirt tossed over the chair in the corner. THEY WERE MY OWN! I startled when I began to realize like puzzled pieces falling backwards in empty space presciently into a proper solution. A blinding flash ignited my brain as I heard the hinges of the bedroom door swing open and I spun about as if caught in the cross hairs of some final fatal danger. For an instant the face of the brunette flashed across the face of the blonde before the doorway. The blinding vision of a goddess of desire of a type that so many better men before me had fallen before all throughout history. I stood there presenting a comic sight in boxers and T before her as an expectant smile formed upon her face undiminished. She walked up to me with an unexpected confidence of a she lion that was completely arresting. “Darling!“, she smiled as her arms slid around me to pull me into her embrace. “I’m so sorry I made you wait up for me so long but I had to drive Betty home after I dropped you off.” She took a step forward and I heard her purse drop hard upon the floorboards. My conscious mind reeled as I gazed deeply into her twin blue pools of dead earnestness. “What in the Hell was I thinking?“, I thought. “It was so nice that the three of us had the opportunity to get together for dinner this evening!“, she cooed. She now staring deeply into my eyes with a convincing innocence as females often do when they poke and probe for the proper most expected response. “No, no!“, I replied with an unexpected sense of earnestness behind my voice. “It is so much nicer though that it is only just the two of us alone now!” I settled back into the magic of the moment of mutually shared ecstasy of two loving animal embracing. Realization come to fruition that my ‘friend’ had after all been simply been a manifestation of my own very pernicious dream.