How is it to return to the scene of where you were once a small part of? Now, some half a century later, well-seasoned and thoroughly wizened, no better, if not somewhat worse, than when you started out. No longer of any real importance. Age hanging on you like an old set of dusty moth eaten drapes. The neighborhood now sporting only dressed down vestiges of those once familiar prosperous signifiers. That immediacy offered in the blight of all your past missed opportunities enjoyed by other people’s children. Your broken dreams diluted by the shadow of hapless drunks.
In the modern shoe store you serve yourself. But not by selling shoes but rather collecting DVD’s. One gets down from the shelves and stacks the desired discs in a tall pile by the customer’s feet. And if someone gets to their feet and wanders overt to another pile in front of another more distant seat and the guy who had set up his stack sitting there will angrily shoo you away. Telling you off with canted brow where one could and could not go. The others acting like a children protecting their turf and toys. God forbid that one might have looked at his DVD’s!
We all may struggle with the thought that we might soon be un-created! Wishing to take up and maintain form struggling up from a chaotic darkness ever reaching towards the light to embody further motion and to become pure energy personified. We struggle hard to maintain this inertia to keep that motion going and to evolve and progress. But then end up falling back into the hold of nothingness much in a way that a haphazardly splashed drop of water falls back into that same amorphous pool from which it was spawned. Yet something mysterious causes another droplet to be flung just as high in rapid succession. And we try, and attempt again to follow some pattern or form within this never ending chaos. This need, this desire, to be embodied,and evolve, continue to persist and thus become eternal. And yet it being provably impossible to do so! This conundrum as enigma simply in the expression, “To be and not to be!” Life as it can be known on the human plane being a simultaneous question and answer phrased in the same instant. From to the other and then from the other back into one. All at the same time. The moment you are born you begin to die. And as you slowly begin to accelerate towards death you begin to really live. And either way you are just as equally alive! You persist because you do exist. So then what is this covert elusive essence hiding behind all this?
To be able to be successful in one’s existence might be likened to continuing to add to the stack of your own house of cards. And by the continued experience of total collapse leading to inevitable failure add a few more the next time around. Knowing that you are always inviting that trouble by adding more. But also resolving to start again with the hard knowledge you have gained before and never stop pushing on! To explore in those two opposite directions of inner and outer, smaller and large, left to right. Then tread carelessly over the rules that you bump into and be put back into your place until these boundaries no longer present an issue but are embodied as second nature. To bring others into being, and surrender to your own sublimation. What are you willing to will into being? Your will? Your own desires? The sum total of your actions? All as guided by your own inner motivations posed against the very same from others. That unit which is loosely termed as Society. All those rock solid prejudices, inflexible taboos, and untried boundaries form a sacred unity that every other of your rivals maintains as law. Some things you can do, and some things you dare not! But what to do? What to have? What to want? Because in the final chapter, both we and these things must all go back from whence they came.
The city decided to put on a fair that had as it’s main feature a zoo comprised of animals and their keepers straight from from South Asia. A question arose if their organization was properly set up for the animals to be kept to a strict routine of engagement so that the visiting children to the petting zoo exhibit wouldn’t suffer any inadvertent injury. But these same designated stewards from half way around the planet seemed totally unconcerned and arrogantly confident that the agenda would figure itself out during the event. It was also their job to prepare the virgins accordingly so that they would be ready for the various rituals. Bon voyage and welcome to Babylon!