[A cafe in London]
So hard to conjure words into ideas when their inspiration is interdicted by this electronic display gleaming before one. Does one close their eyes to plumb the depths of one’s own residual impressions of day’s end? Or record them aloud upon the street as they hit one in their most unvarnished unadulterated form? Is it not customary that all villains think themselves misunderstood? That beneath their black robes lay saintly garb would only that the world simply bend an ear to know? So profound a discovery to find one’s own life posed in grievous error. And not simply an example of indecisiveness simply misunderstood. How much more lost could one be beyond this unexpected conviction of late? Do not one’s belief being long held within the inconstant veritas of man as despoiled too often in ignoble action to further gain not prove one’s doubting in all things ritually recited? Thus, in this sin of pride corrupting one to think that they could conjure useful theories of existence far beyond the lifeless state of any world worn body! The material manifestation of this patent universe persistently renewed before one’s five remaining senses erasing all doubts of any other realm.
But does not one ponder what sort of beginning could have brought all that appears so solid and tangible to the touch into being? How solid a thought is passing through a head does so often change one’s everyday view of such things? One day being sunny and fair. And thus unexpectedly comes the next robed in stormy gray. From whence issue these changes wrought so dramatically just beyond the edge of mortal sight of man? To conjure wind and water into all its many forms both artful and destructive. Whose sleight of unseen hand does wistfully play behind that screen undetectable to mortals? Then, better yet, set in motion false perspectives within one’s own heart to one day call lament brave felicity. And then in the next breath return it back to its best know place of insatiable want? Can one truly say that this pernicious spirit that lays dormant within one does not share a common foundation with a nagging doubt in one’s own powers? To always act independently of the same? To deflect its natural course of action by virtue of an ability to intervene with reason and maintain the constant ability to conjure up same at will? Would one not agree that this defect is inherent within the greatest mysteries of man? Who indeed directs one’s ability to manifest this choice? Is not an inability to never find it possible to know one’s own face directly? Or to view the back of one’s own head save through the abstract of the intercession of the material artifice of reflection not telling enough? That indeed there is something more than only one’s self? This unconscious sin of pride so common in believing that there is only one’s self alone and ultimately none other. Is that not by itself enough proof that in some inexplicable fundamental way one is always put to a test?
But then can one truly conjugate all the random possibilities that lay unborn beyond a mirror set before you? After all, as a man, you are not alone in your reason. The ability of conjure notions and transform them into rational physical manifestations is an ancient practiced art. One that needs no more explanation than the fact of the device that sits in your lap or palm has evolved from the communal practice of same over the centuries. Wonders conjured up by man’s inherent ingenuity! Produced through cooperation in industry. And delivered out of a sense of benefit to a greater community to provide all knowledge that is known by man to the next generation of the same throughout every civilized society. The choice to abjure from it’s sagacity being no different than to perniciously contest the hegemony of one’s imagined rivals. All in hope of finding a new degree of superiority in the stability of a high office and then to maintain same. Would one be so foolish as to believe that all one can derive from this great joint enterprise promoting universal knowing in both a material and philosophical context should be summarily discarded in light of one’s own solipsistic doubt? Can the physical experience of personally extracting a single pearl from the shell of a mollusk wrested from the ocean’s deep provide more insight than the share of multiple experience from of a thousand others who transmit their varied levels of similar mastery within an instant through the simple artful play of one’s mind in consort with their digits upon a keyboard? How much greater the scope of the confidence of ‘knowing‘ something well when a device can also mirror every reasonable point of view. And convey with it the emotions felt be a thousand others to tell explain the true dimensions of that distant physical realm. One that might very possibly be well-equipped enough to challenge or mentally prepared to know?
Did not those two that came before you, and who bore you into this world, not exist before you just as surely as they are now no longer evident and available to you in this waking present? Wherein the barrier of memory? Yet is it not equally true that recollection is an uncertain fellow? Inconstant though always by one’s side, often running off into a fog, and only sporadically summoned back via happenstance ensconced within dreams during night? Is their not a parable to be found in the fact that man the animal, among all other species, must always find himself caught between two irreconcilable worlds that resist each other? Persistent in their ability to perpetually confound each other! And thus, cast doubt in simply recycling reasonable concrete propositions. Ones that pertain to the material realm constantly defying it with one’s own unsuspected wants being enigmatically posed as the source of same. To find one’s dreams evident in reality, or conversely, find one’s reality propagated in the senseless vanities of one’s dream. Can it be denied that one’s sense of all things solid and real come from a self-imposed set of beliefs? One that limits one as surely as all things physical and reflective do. Providing the context of one’s own image as the defining measure of what they choose to surround themselves with?
Yet is it not equally true that immortality beyond one’s own existence is not as much the fortune to have one’s presence durably inscribed within the constancy of thought of many others? To be constantly recollected from a public archive some artful mechanical cleverness to once more recite some primary inspiration and thus enforce a popular claim to the title of being there first to conjure some inherent wisdom? To have one’s name readily on all lips within this day’s popular sphere of regular discourse. What other kind of heavenly construct wrought of one’s solitary consciousness can contest this conscious labor of mankind’s industry to continuously refresh one throughout eternity? The macrocosm of the totality of human minds s extended from beyond the singular boundaries of one’s own synapses out into the continuum of the entire species as a whole! Can one contest the notion that one’s efforts might well be remembered over the entire extent of all future times far beyond the passing of their own animal mortality? Immortality now easily accessible with a few topically meaningful keystrokes. Part of, but equally preeminent, within the future scheme of things to come. Still living under the laws of nature but revealed by the artifice of man. Does one give one’s self proper credit by not dreaming in the possibility of reality further than those other multitudes who merely rest in sleep? A constant connection of the embodiment of your uniqueness universally shared over the course of innumerable human life times? Where then is the seat of this sort of self-conceit to call one’s self a philosopher more prescient than all others come before? But then not act upon it with the means available in reality?
Then singular belief in something unknowable, intangible, and thoroughly undefined above the waking world all to spite one’s rivals is a blasphemy! To view one’s own existence as a path that is unique to them only is heresy! And to injure one’s fellow creature by casting doubts against their commitment to mutual cooperation in all things is anarchy! Better to descend from that remote mountain throne of one’s own vanity and accept the world as it has long been posed! This screen before one informs all! Communicates with all! Provides all the right answers to questions not yet having been asked. The collective conscious of all wisdom and intelligently possible by both men and women. The stated experience of respected scholars and the demonstrated perfidy of blatant fools thus laid out and richly illustrated. To which of these would one pledge their allegiance? The semiotic inscribed upon the cover of your instrument proclaiming the preeminence of the fruit of all earthly knowledge. Why not find peace in this resort that others not unlike you have steadily contributed their time and thought to assemble this wealth? Accede to the confidence that this mechanism can provide. One need only extend one’s arm forth to reap its rich reward? How meaningless to be suspicious of such a wonderful ladder to climb past one’s physical limitations and extend forth beyond the limits of ones current personal abilities? How could one be so foolish as not to engage this vehicle to travel the entire globe? To virtually sample all perceptible experiences therein? Refrain from the indulgence of your animal fears! Think positively instead! Rather than dwelling upon one’s material shortcomings.
Yet is it not true that all inventions of man are flawed by the taint of their own intentions? To stand alone and powerful above all others by means of trickery and illusion as afforded by the facility of industry? That power coming from a dubious art of instilling consensus. Of instilling fantasy and falsehood by providing documentary anecdotes conveniently parred down to easily disputable contradictory fact? That such devices come into being not by a democracy of spirit but by the well-coordinated slavery of mindless labor that is necessary to produce it as a means by which all can share those same rote singularities of narrow perspective that glorify the limitations of a communal existence! Is this not then an unwitting celebration of an expansive version of Hell where all mankind finds itself caught amidst engaging in some unholy sense of satisfaction in surrendering itself to the harness of others so as to be relieved of the responsibility of dealing with their own contemplation of universal chaos? To enjoy the illusion of stability by the inference that all things are mechanically mutable and thus fixable by the collective hand of man. To publicly mouth oaths to assent that the safety of the spirit lies only in a participation with the consensus of the day. One daily proclaimed conveniently offered on this publicly acceptable technologically superior mechanism. Ever ready to plumb the popular truths and get one to adhere to them without ever wavering. How else in the official timeline of acceptable view of history could man have raised himself up from animal existence over the millennia to create this universal sense of common civility? To cull the ignorant among them from those who are willing to change in the proscribed way through writ of their betters. Those who have had the lineage and admirable foresight to lend their aid and encouragement to the mass installation of such devices in order to globally eradicate and destructive divergence. Yet is it not equally to be said that, for all this learned dogma, that a larger truth exists? One that is incomprehensible to most. One that defies spoken words and commonly held perceptions? That the totality of these mechanical devices as focused by a few ensure future stability for the majority through a reasonable conformity. That this telescopic view leaves out the totality of the incomprehensible all for the sake of a more palatable accessible point of view!
But then, why continue to spar so if one is so confident in one’s disbelief? If you doubt the facility of your eyes and ears? Do you fear to become too learned in the current ways of a world that has indeed been devised by more prescient notables at the higher levels of responsibility for the community of mankind? Would you suggest that we all return back to our former caves naked without tools? Wherein is there logic to endure the vagaries of natures only to pray to the empty air in hope of more pleasant climates to aid one’s future personal survival? To rely only upon one’s inner intuition that suggests a slim possibilities other heretofore unseen powers and ally them to direct one’s immediate fate? What sort of a failed Eden do you propose? How can personal inspiration pretending allegiance unique to one alone suggest that all others should cast off all time-honored antidotes to simple superstition? To reject the most mutually accessible means to share such hard won knowledge gathered over the centuries? The tyranny of the many must forever be given guidance by the few lest it’s own brand of chaos in a natural penchant for disunion stir up latent animal desires to overwhelm all civility, logic and reason. The moderation proposed by the latest of this wondrous invention does positively refocus all dubious leanings into a more productive form of directed learning by way of the establishment of the virtual as absolute truth. Providing a place where all unsatisfactory human impulses can be so safely confined without damaging a larger superstructure or interfering with the mass illusion of daily existence. Would you challenge such obvious benefits with the prolongation of ignorance?
I cannot speak with you any longer for your artful conversation and unlimited wealth of same is too free flowing. There is too much danger in words. Or a facility with manipulating imagery to suggests unvarnished reality. What are we but mortal men condemned finally to die? It is the genius behind the artifice of beauty that so easily persuades and convinces. That produces the myth of an Olympus its fruit being an apparition skillfully crafted in wax. I will not be so simply dammed! The one unalterable fact that all material inventions despite their multiple claims cannot ultimately deter one singular fact of mortal existence. One apparent to all those who have seen their fellows and loved deposed ultimately to lifeless dust. The strongest of arguments to this endless didactic. That all extent around one that is created by man should remain untarnished while one’s own flesh inevitably withers. To observe that the daily coating of the dust that carries the stuff of failed empires come and gone over the ages. That only the winds are eternal to act to temper mankind’s grievous lack of humility. This reflection that lays before me, whether it be mine own self or the artful creation of unseen others has no way of disputing earthly frailty! A truth routinely unspoken by mortal lips. Yet heard by the heart and made more cogent in those final moments spent in material existence. That spirit must be eternal! To serve for nothing more as a reason for the fact of the appearance of all artifice. That Heaven and Hell are merely passing thoughts conjured ‘en masse‘ within an infinitive realm of pure potential. That existence like memory is bound to fade away to make room for the possibility of harboring something yet inconceivable. This continuum being qualitative but imperceptible to the art of numbers or the bounding fence posts of logic. That if something has the force of imagination and will then it may be so? But is humility and balance is included then all things shine for one wholly unique moment in paradise. That happiness is a corollary of an ability to love unconditionally. Thus is the true revealing of all.
[On Wednesday, 30 May, the author’s lifeless body was found in a deserted street.]