I’ve scrapped hulls with a lot of people over the years. Not many have managed to board my ship. I wouldn’t let them. Why that is, is as much a mystery to me as to any of them. It’s not that I hate people. It’s not that I do not need mutual affirmation or connection with them. It’s just one of those things that has happened along the way. So then, how to change before my mortal vessels sails off of this flat earth’s edge?
All these recordings that I have made over the years Thousands! Recordings of my dreams. Thousands of recordings, video and otherwise, of my daily life and those thoughts residing within. Recordings of my worries, reminiscences, and occasionally random dreams approaching the topic of a future. Loneliness and solitude is an act, I suppose? Not the embodiment of the same in terms of an existential everyday sense. But in terms of possible entry points into the exterior realm of general humanity populated by other people. Something that I have lost track of. I see people in each other’s company and sense the quality of the bonds mutually shared between them. But can no longer understand them? Why does a man and a woman embrace naked and vulnerable and based upon such encounters feel compelled to spend the rest of their earthly existence together tightly interwoven with the other? To set up their lives thus to continue in the hope of this predicate lasting as exactly the same throughout? The progression of the entirety of such lives is a mystery to me.
I have been conditioned so long to seek another path. Where everyone of them is on the outside. Even those closest to you! You are on the inside. And there is an impenetrable wall in-between. A barrier that is not immediately visible, but is very definitely taken for granted. It’s presence for the one confined within it being a dilemma. Especially in later life when your present tense possibilities for new experiences are winding down. You ponder to yourself the question of whether you will ever experience what it is like to be on the other side of it? Would you really ever be able to understand and embrace feelings that other people take for granted as a norm. A sad situation for all parties concerned. Because by this point it becomes clear that all those parties that you have encountered within the timeline of your past may have realized by the end of those relationships that your wall just wasn’t worth their effort to finally scale. Since you, from their perspective, were not really evidencing any desire to tear it down from the inside. How sad! And how futile. But perhaps, a means of continual survival?
It seems that the world that humanity is familiar with is encompassed by words. Those formulations of sounds by the throat that are constantly increasing numerically by virtue of being modified and reconfigured in ways that demand a discrete means of being comprehended and then ultimately understood. All this for the purpose of something that is commonly referred to as knowledge. To say something in specific referring to a particular item or experience within one’s life is considered by most as knowing it. The more words forming a specific terminology that is wholly unique to some new phenomena the more one plays an active role of determining their active meanings for all. The larger collection of words within the specific domain of a given culture being then sorted once more and rearranged based upon the currency of their use in popular circles. The interchangeability of similar terms or those re-tasked within a narrowly popularized segment of that same society increasing their often arcane nature to those challenged by their former common usages as being potentially infinitive. And as such, sorting out those that experience them into different social classes based upon their own segment’s communal interests.
Anyone engaged within the activity of actively assimilating these changes then being considered as having special influence over that society and being given a special sense of place within it. The gap between these wordsmiths and the general audience designated by a special sense of authority by the former suggests that for them to gain currency they must be vetted and enfranchised by the ruling structure of that society. This fact refocusing the notion of simple observation in the scientific sense to one of an Orwellian view of common everyday publicly acceptable reality. The transmission of a novel experience through specialized terms or existing words that are recast in the lexicon of ‘layman’s‘ terms by unseen parties forever distant to the one’s personally acquiring them is in so many ways an act of faith. Something that involves that herd dynamic known as consensus. Education then is needed not so much to instruct the successive generations in encouraging them in a stimulation of subsequent investigation of a given topic so much as to school them in a rote appreciation of their current politically acceptable meaning. The viability of a cult or regime over the longterm is ultimately dependent on how well-indoctrinated and immediately subservient to the definition of terms as couched by that specific ruling structure.
A marked evolution from past to present meanings acceptably mutable to the times providing a clue as to what sort of political mentality is currently in power over the land. That authority that the general public is taught to accept on all daily matters ranging from the mundane to ones critical for base survival exists in a vacuum that is not to be questioned. Those who venture to do so are quickly outmaneuvered by paid ‘experts‘ well-versed in psychology and rhetoric and ultimately marginalized through the decorum of being accused of demonstrating irrationality by the fact of their violating acceptable standards of reasonable behavior. As a normal member of society one would be expected to maintain the status quo by sympathetically joining a collective outing of those individuals that transgress. The words to be conjured in acceptably currency to mutually describe such transgressions coming from a less mutable more basic collection reserved for use in staged dramas cast as popular entertainment. The public at large being deluged by classic cliche plots enacted by characters almost on a cartoon level to create popular avatars for the population at large to bond with. The dialogue employed, common enough to support a shadow play needed to castigate any would be offenders that would seek to transgress and have to misfortune to become popular enough to challenge the existing social order. The confrontation at that point being one of challenging the author’s intent based upon a deficit of understanding or mental rationality to properly used the terminology. Or alternately, suggest a supposition of an undisclosed solipsistic hidden purpose nefariously posed to disrupt the interests of the whole of society. This category of words supported by carefully crafted popular imagery imposed from cradle to grave being fluid and permeable within the culture. Even what appears to be completely trivial in the absurd conforming to these standards.
The world that exists beyond the borders of one’s own simple personal observation expects all to ignore the same as a matter of daily habit. No need to express one’s self beyond the current set of functional terms that are required for their role in the segment of the society that they have been cast into. Expected to conform in public venues to a limited list of topics for discussion outside their own occupational specialty. Equally tasked to maintain their own insularity with other similarly challenged individuals that are generally considered to be outside their caste. The employment of terminology and the phrasing of same serving as a guideline as to whether someone newly encountered outside of their working world can be informally approached as a potential candidate for friendship or a reliable long term ally. Everyone is expected to embrace this mentality and accept it without question as normal and reasonable. Words and carefully crafted terms serving as prison walls that may shift about incrementally over a period of time but still bespeak imprisonment. The subjectivity engineered into what poses as objectivity glaring only to those thought criminals that dare to try to expand the limits or the use of language to suit an alternative sense of personal observation. If one see the world differently than your fellows than one’s fellows it is best to keep it to one’s self and conform to the state supported fiction of what “. . . everybody else thinks!”
To those in such circumstances as to hear the proverbial ‘different drummer’ this is a dilemma. One can theoretically speak of their total appreciation of ‘knowledge’. To know something is to be able to precisely express it to another with absolute clarity. The more specialized terms at hand the more one has the way to balance their meanings to suit a specific segment that is equally aware. The constant shuffle of terms and checking their definitions in terms of appropriateness giving the appearance of seeking an ultimate meaning. But one might ask, “Whose meaning?” The recreational activity of conjuring mythic mental fictions to support the identities of the acceptable savants of society once again tasked to the most popular mediums of distribution often being considered general entertainment. Those who possess an up to date awareness of the latest terms seemingly has the appearance of an innate degree of vast intelligence that may or may not in fact be backed up by a real sense of actual comprehension. The gap as often as not being a moat to fend off others. A barrier to the way people tend to observe things in terms of their own respective limits of personal comprehension. One that calls up judgment based upon a consensus based cultural perspective and political motives that may be deliberately self-serving. The ability to coherently transliterate ideas conjured in a vastly different language and culture depending upon a literate tradition of universities acting as a filters or buffers potentially destabilizing ideas or radical viewpoints to heel. Such is the task of another arcane ‘priesthood‘ of professional translators who are relied upon to properly interpret idioms, inference and inflections accurately leaving a sometimes sanitized or enigmatic degree of emptiness to the assembled thoughts of the final transcript.
The one basic question that all this rigamarole leads up to is can anyone be truly confident that ideas transposed from distant sources truly have an infallible unalterable validity? Take any authoritative statement and peruse it without some knowledge of the source and the biography of its author and tell yourself it is absolutely true. Is the blind acceptance of all these uncountable daily pronouncements not falling into a trap of being taken up in a dangerous mindless crowd based consensus that might prove to be individually harmful to you as an individual? This is a very serious question that the nature of one’s true identity is determined by. The gap of doubt for its sake alone can dangerously erode one’s faith in society as well as equally in humanity. That final stop along the way still the home of the Sphinx that will require an answer to the two most important questions in life. “Why was I born? What is the meaning behind life?” The answer one can offer in those last moments being a matter of how far one can push along understanding of this sort along its way.