Too often many prefer their head severed from the body as an ultimate prize to be severed from an otherwise bothersome so much baser throne. A signature of all those who would supervise the heavens upon a strict timetable barring any unexpected interruption. The incongruity of the two embodied in that unsettling liaison between man and woman with no possible middle ground of the appearance of offspring. These larger infants plagued with contradictions before the bond between them has been finally reached. That poorly hidden desire for connection never winning out save by some overwhelming circumstance of cruelly applied fate. The bond between inner self and flesh has since become beyond burdensome. Any connections with others equally beset even being more loathsome. The guide to one’s existence is too often by way of too many irksome feelings from that brooding animal deep within. The uselessness of a cloud barring an otherwise sunny landscape turned too often into a stormy sea offering only a constant threat of chaos. The balance of one’s daily attempt at industry ever counter-posed with angst making one wonder if their efforts are somehow misguided from the start or simply misplaced? Ruthlessness of will to overcome one’s own nature and reign supreme over every other ever on display! The candle burning brighter and too often finds illumination only from one’s solitude. The daily market rate of exchange gathering only fools. And of course, those who would keep them so. Belief sold as instrumentation to continued care free existence. But being at the end of the day only a net cast forth communally to finally snag all. And at their own expense! Society defined earnestly as a daily jungle of the mind where the innocent become grist for the mill that will grind the wheat for all the rest. Slow witted hungry cannibals that are secretly fore sworn to ancient temple idols. Those few that are cloistered in the shadows and too often call out to be washed in a constant supply of human blood. That beast known as society very short on compassion but flowing in the continuous release of bottled up excess. Those lesser animals making up the mob ever destructive to their own cause.
All day I have dragged my ass about the confines of my two bedroom abode. The events of the last weeks both enraging and depressing me. My country under fire from an insurgent force determined to topple it from within. A great disappointment with generations that have been crippled by that pseudonym loosely termed ‘Education‘ which is little more than Marxist claptrap instructing them that they must go along to get along as they are warehoused in anticipation of being demeaned as useful cogs in a cynical inhuman hegemony. Public officials that have done everything in their power to violate their oaths of office to keep this land and its people safe. All for the sake of those special favors of wealth and status. And those under the burden of those commands being attacked from both sides to the point that too many have stood the brunt no longer having faith in a system that has betrayed them. The canon of history evidencing similar insurgencies in other locales that have led to national collapse. Decades of genocidal murder and unnecessary world wars drummed up only on the basis of a privileged few to pursue an agenda of garnering ever increasing wealth and power. And here we all are allowing it to happen again! All for the genuflecting for false ideals that few really believe in advanced by psychopaths that care not either way. Demons with two legs that have de-evolved into animals celebrating the slaughter that their handlers in high places guarantee will not lead to the appropriate stern consequences they so richly deserve to suffer.
The only question I can offer up is, “Why!” Why are people that simply want to follow through on the conduct of regular existence in a civil society such cowards that they will not heed the call and band together to defeat these cowards most of whom hide behind the facade of status and respect to toss lie after lie at the public demanding that the rest of us call it truth, or else! What is there to lose at this point that has not already been taken from us. Our jobs? GONE! Our future prosperity? GONE! Our faith in government to do their job to protect us? GONE! GONE! GONE! And that of our children as free to think for themselves and carve out their own niche? For who can live their lives on handouts and not end up a slave in the end? Is mortal life most valuable than risking it to defend the world that we must live in while we are alive? And if not now, then ever? Not by a schedule of colors or cults that label us but by common interest to devise a stable civil society that does its best to survive tyrants and defeat them whatever stripes they claim to represent. Not by damning the remnants of history from past conflicts by obliterating them from our consciousness by physical destruction that in the end show the ways by exposing both flaws as well as valor where are forbears were connived to take up arms against each other. But only managed to further defeat themselves! The time has come to push back against all those who would destroy us. Whether it be by specious words or covert weaponry. To reject the continuous bombardment of fear and starve off the entities who find it profitable to spread it. For where have we got to go at this point if we do not?
So here is how the story really goes! That particular proverbial little boy, the one that one day is destined to be a clothier, along with the modern whistleblower have become ‘persona non-gratia‘ pariahs. The whistles blown by same condemning the unchecked overreach of powers perpetrated upon society in general. Those currently in positions of administrative power shamelessly exploit the fears of that public that they govern to justify breaking them economically. And they have a lot of help from the non-stop electronic chatterbox of politically inbred corporate-run mass media outlets. The tired media narrative of those who are in power and those said not to be in power. The establishment is currently a Leftist gambit. It tends to play both sides in that way Those few of us that refuse these newly imposed hop skip and jump rituals demanded by the paper thin facade of imminent crisis that this supposed new ‘normal’ foisted on them then designated as useless eaters! The ‘Royal We’ of all supposedly to conveniently die off as planned through enforced deprivation by slow starvation. Because no one should dare to stand up to put a stop to the actions of these ‘God’ appointed leaders. There is a lot of comfort at the lowest of levels in playing it safe and silently receding into the densest most anonymous region of the herd.
But in our current situation within a playing field that envelopes the entire civilized world you have too much company from every other member of your own kind in terms of vying for scant resources. The larger statistical consensus will be judged unnecessary by that small segment your betters. Yet still remain comfortably attractive in the minds of the general mainstream masses, even if it is found to be a totally artificially mechanism of social control manufactured by those same tyrannical overlords. Most people would rather believe in a socially acceptable lie than dare to acknowledge verifiable facts create even a small degree of doubt. Especially those that by common simple street logic are found to obliquely confront the bilious representations of truths daily stretched way out of proportion. These same undeniable party line facts buttressed by a pretty face. The comfort zone of an eternally kindly televised attitude that people much prefer to align their existence along. A solipsistic conceit that by the fact of many years of conditioning they purposefully associate with trustworthiness.
Once indoctrinated starting from early childhood most people are left defenseless from routinely being led blindly into otherwise blatantly obvious political gambits that sooner or later end in their own destruction. The most time-honored methodology of mass disposal being periodic wars of aggression which are always clothed in rhetoric characterizing it as rightful defense. These actions taken on behalf of an agenda of the few at the expense of the many. Of course, just the mere possibility of this game being discovered to be founded in fact drives those who are unable to think for themselves into a frenzy of abject denial. The posture that is adapted immediately denigrates anyone daring to deviate from the official narrative as someone not quite right in the head. From that point on these attitudes quickly morph into aggression focused at the person speaking heresy challenging the safer posture of groupthink.
I fell for the bullshit way back when I still loved women in general! But like all men, I was always disarmed by the mere thought of them as if some unlucky sailor cast overboard into a current rapidly pulling him away from the safety his ship. Some, too many of their kind, looking to be fixed. Fixed? What the Hell does that mean? Fixed like a dog or cat? Or possibly fixed in terms of a transformational experience of marital bliss to finally become right running and complete? Irish and fiery! Like lighting your cigars in the vicinity of a powder keg! And wondering all the while how high this tossed match would throw you? Never underestimate the forceful fury of a female scorned by others of your own kind! And as their intended prey, one can never dismiss that storehouse of unrelieved passion behind it! On how odd that one will find occasions to unhesitatingly plunge their tongue deep into a mouth of a total stranger and then perhaps go on to lick their two bottom orifices with equal ardor, but subsequently blanche at the prospect of having to use their toothbrush?
Two men encounter each other at a funeral and after a few drinks, their conversation becomes trapped in a theme of the finality of death. One recites his own personal take on the number of possibilities all are likely to encounter. The first being a glorious joyful hog cart to the blinding light of Heaven. The second into the ass scorching fiery depths of Hell! But the third, and most discouraging being a continuation of the exact same life, but in a different location. Repetition of common like’s and dislike’s as an ongoing incantation that of itself both manifests and legitimizes the exterior world. The only enjoyment offered being that of good exhaustion. Love affairs are futile. If you want to live ‘happily ever after’, then don’t fall in love! Become a monk instead, or a nun or bishop and worship at the altar of your own choosing. Human nature is the best cure for one’s own dilemma. Funny little farcical game where a girl taking a bath is spied on by a man on the other end of the phone who looks through the holes in the phone ogling her nakedness. Then teasing her about her vulnerability!
And then there are the legal fuzz-butts! Everywhere you spit, a set of technologically driven piss poor prying eyes passively monitoring all your activity! Electronic, remote, or under glass, all being behind the same. Beady little peepers investigating your every movement. Tracking your progress through society all through the day. What you are watching? Which lights and appliances do you currently have on? And even, what do you want to wear today? All electronically tagged and categorized for statistical number crunching by house algorithms to make you feel important about the sort of demographic that you fit in with. In reality, when you think about it, a simple measure to keep all those big human rats caught safely within their holes. A mental conflict demanding one’s immediate appreciation of their own simple reality through the abstraction of electronically broadcast existential fictions resembling possible versions of life as it might have once been. But, remember, it’s all a farce! A game inclusive of endless well-planned mass perceptions versus personal appreciations. A deep dark never ending song of unrelenting banality captured by those that wish to impose another variety of banality under the fiction of their own control. The fallacy of that type of orchestration found in a flea circus!
Fifteen minutes past bewitching hour and my ego reminds me that I should be responsible for demonstrating the proper degree of gravitas. To become deadpan serious in terms of what I have to offer to the world based solely upon the fact that time is short in this all too brief existence. And by the end of day, so many of life’s experiences tending to quietly seep away through the leaky sieve of one’s failing memory. As part of a committee flying across a vast inland lake my detractors openly scorn my presence. And I in turn returning the favor by making demands leaving them with a stinging bite overpowering their inadequate forms of response. To consider entering the kingdom of Hell? Would it be possible for a man to be completely naked and be able to penetrate its deepest interior of the Sun while still able to remain sentiment? To suffer an unbearable level of pain unimaginable on any human scale of possible perception without hope of ever returning to a normative state of empty euphoric bliss? But instead remain for infinity to fully embrace it? The brutal self-destructive insanity it implies is magnificent prospect to contemplate in all its terrible glory.
Consider the eternal moment! That point in time when one is cast into a black hole past the event horizon where elemental forces of the universe tear you apart, quark by quark. And you, confronting the worst of your fears, foregone any possibility of going back. But instead, fully embracing your own extinction. The overbearing mass media monster stalking the planet relies upon an audience securely caught in their grip, reliably disturbed by the currency of never ending messages promoting fear that they liberally distribute. The same audience, equally fascinated by them. Much like the lure of pornography! Popular horror movies in every genre exploiting visceral exploration of unmentionable evils. Turning them all eventually into ironic banalities. But like the modern media it is very successful in maintaining an ever-present ghostly presence. Much like Frederich Murnau’s vampire film, Nosferatu, the action being stiffly theatrical. Its physical style of high contrast between shadow and over-compensated illumination producing a setting more effective than the acting for driving forth the plot. A stylistic approach embodied in the initial sets viewed in Ridley Scott’s original Alien film. Stanley Kubrick’s, 2001 A Space Odyssey, setting the benchmark associated with the look of current space based technologies. The lever of fear from the fun house motif coming in unexpected but reliable scares. The presence of the monster protagonist is present but never fully manifested. With modern news media, the event spoken of is properly crafted in such a way to suggest, rather than reveal. That mysteriousness wherein reeking of sheer stupidity. A secret wish to the unbounded desire to no longer exist.
The mood being indescribable to some could be congealed into just one under the breath declaration, “Restless.” Everyone was! Months of being talked down to like children about do’s and mostly don’ts had run its course. The official timetable had now become an encumbrance much as those bright blue mostly cloudless sky that awaited one’s crackpot misadventures just out of reach. Anything that one could summon beyond simply aimless pacing footsteps seemed fair game. The animal within had its ears pricked up and was looking for prey. A look, perhaps a random word from a stranger, something might lead to an opportunity. After all,caution had worn thin, and the sheets high up in the rigging had been set at least twenty times hoping to head towards a growing sense of imminent storm. Rudolph, just his stage name, had no red nose. Perhaps a distant German relative or two? That popular namesake not simply deferring to the fact that he was no Spring chicken. But counted on the fact that poultry of his description were scarce these days. A lack of concern had descended upon him like a gladiator’s net poised under the trident. Something of an ever more fearsome quality continuously changing its description nebulously signifying the possibility of even more increasing danger. This tack had lost its power to fill the sails. Sex had become more his thing. Or should one more realistically quip, the residual effect of a longstanding lack of it! How long had it been since he had been warm belly against warm belly with anyone? A very long time indeed as it was next to impossible to conjure up a clear image of a female face with a hint of curvy hips or shapely breasts. How odd that each partner he had once known had a signature in their appearance? Generally by that respective foliage nesting upon their Venus mound. Maybe that notable nose of his had once gained notoriety in times past from the constant friction applied upon those bird baskets? And just as likely, might have caught some type of a lingering malheureux? The affliction rampant upon the other side of some femme’s temporal paradise in the vicinity of that perpetually dampened regions located betwixt Sodom and Gomorrah? The plain undeniable fact being that otherwise, Rudolph was an abysmal stick man.
Those older opportunities to plow so many furrows in anxious fields of youth had long ago yielded little in the way of crops, or lasting contracts that might have been followed up in the next coming of Spring. The aura of freely available sex partners back then seemed endless in the possibilities of sexual pleasure being timeless in terms of availability. And of course, as with all things assayed in youth, nothing could have been further than the truth! Strong brown tanned shoulders and arms of yore now transitioned into flabby skinned pale chicken wings over the passage of time. Their atrophy overlooked by the urgency of a constantly repressed libido. Strong branched boughs of thigh and calves equally withered to bandy stick legged limbs. Yet now in the present tense, the most important part gone fallow to static and inert. Hardly a it well-packaged piece of male brisket to be of interest to any roving young female adventuress out on a romp to discern where a good time might be unexpectedly hiding out. Even the prospect of those of his own age likened to the nicest most elegant of classic vehicles, the older ones occasionally needing a jump once in a while, seemed distant in possibility of coitus. Unfortunately his own vehicle was held up by cinder blocks, lacking rubber. It’s dead battery unable to render sufficient motivating spark. Sex for him now had become a purely selfish mental exercise of the mind alone. One that required a tireless working of his wrist to the external rhythm of an 2D flesh filled Internet. Mambo’s there featuring endless varieties of pump and hump. Perversion, some would not hesitate to call it! “Being marooned upon his own personal desert island . . .“, as he would choose to think of it. A state of mind physically far away from the danger of those ever present neurotic solipsistic failures so characteristic of women of his own age. Too many of these creatures now long past their second divorce. And every one eagerly looking for foolish males to help lighten the burden of their ongoing financial tribulations. And factoring the other side of the equation, never provided with a reliable measure of safety in having some local whore too near to your wallet and able to look up your home address. The collection of same a Sargasso sea of social degenerates in a larger ocean of perverted narcissist’s!
What did it matter at this point in his existence anyway? The future had flown away like a bunch of startled starlings. The whole group rapidly disappearing off into the distant horizon. That haphazard rocket ship of regular society sent off into continuous orbit around the banality of endless shows of modern arrogance. Rudolph was just looking for some fun, as in the old days! Rudolph’s tastes in porno had become eclectic. This might include anything! In fact, the real fun behind the whole experience was to try to find the most absurd combinations of traits. Type in some conflicting random words and see what sauntered up on the screen in terms of an absurdest sexual behavior that would be vindicated in an extravagant pictorial representation of one, two or any number of individuals enacting it. More than anything the fascination with all things extremes, ones that some other anonymous parties were so willing to allow themselves to be exposed to was the main attraction of the experience for him. How was it, he would ask himself, that so many otherwise conventional looking men and women could submit to so many forms of coitus in such raw circumstances? Some of them allowing physical abuse as a prerequisite to stir their passions. Some scenarios making one wonder if those actors taking center stage were left in one piece still breathing at the conclusion of their episode? This left Rudolph in the position of an active voyeur. One who, on occasions just before and immediately after the passion of viewing had subsided, was struck by a moral dilemma wondering if he was in some remote sense enabling the spread of decadence throughout the world by being such an avid and active audience? Though he couldn’t ever recall having purchased these sorts of materials in the past beyond perhaps that one time at a bargain counter of a crusty sex shop some forty years previous when such places still existed. He still felt a slight sense of responsibility. Not that he had done anything since that time in terms of adding his monetary support to the nefarious nether world beyond of course giving it his occasional voyeuristic attention. The damage done he instinctively knew was deep down within his own soul. No longer could he directly associate a default sense of innocence with the physical fulfillment of his animal within. The two sensibilities had become mutually exclusive for him. Something much in the same way that the old game of the endless chase for material success had now been thrust out of reach from most of the world. These mutually exclusive realms were now always going to be a case of applying sheer animal lust for physical bed and board survival. No more tender sentiments of delicate touch and embrace possible over the current gap of social distancing that was demanded of all modern Jill and Joe’s.
Perhaps that endless press of humanity had long left him a masochist. That tender part of him that had accumulated nothing but endless misfortunes now a furnace of unquenchable terrible rage. Something that had to be balanced by an iron willed intellectually founded mental reserve to keep it from boiling over uncontrollably to lead him to a bad end. Too many times in preadolescence being the butt of other little boy’s jokes. There counterpoint in little girls seeking out someone near as the next likely victim to tease and bully. Too often as the new kid, he found him the most logical choice. Why he would too often wonder was this so? What about him conveyed an obvious quality of vulnerability or some other invisible sign post that proclaimed him as an available easy target for their abuse? He could much later see that the typed of surrogates and protagonists that he personally sought out in later years seemed to carry that same sense of insoluble riddle at their core being. An innocuous appearance not necessarily the major factor in the abuse. Yet whomever was responsible for enacting these scenarios knew the answer to this secret. Many a time stroking away Rudolph would speculate how it was so apparent that he was so obviously pegged? The sight of absolute vulnerability of someone being subjected to vicious impacts of the lash over every part of their body connecting with his own long suppressed rage. Its unconsumed fuel converted into the intensity of ardent desire. So much so, that it could revive even the dead! His own current impotence easily dispelled as his flaccid normally indifferent equipment would slowly stir to fire off a dripping salute. The sticky end result of this process sad testament that the limits of his advancing age. Yet proof of a sort that the river Styx of sexual possibilities had not yet been fully crossed. It all seemed so imperfectly tawdry?
The successive days in this lock down would wear on interminably till nighttime. The main event being ‘pick your perversion‘ themes that required thinking outside of the box in terms of incomprehensible configurations of possibilities. A sound of angry voices issuing from the unit immediately below interrupting his concentration. “Fuck Corona!” “Fuck Corona!” “Fuck Corona!” An angry voice sporting a decidedly ghetto accent ceaselessly railing on outside. Possibly from from a member of some drug addicted miscreant of a roving gang. “Thump.” Thump.” “Thump.” “Thump.” The continuous sound of urban ghetto nigga downbeat relentlessly shook the floor boards. Suddenly his artificially manufactured sexual ardor evaporated completely and those propped up mental fantasies sped out of his brain like air from a flat tire. And now he felt embarrassment for what he had been planning to do. “Thump.” Thump.” “Thump.” “Thump.” Like an intangible spirit at his door. That mental Dionysian bacchanal fully faded away within him. The triviality of his own pathetic existence exposed by a much larger public fantasy taking its place. Rudolph turned off the television. It was evident that he had briefly fallen asleep just before. He wondered what he should do. Should he directly address his neighbor? What sort of situation would he find? One that even the police would be reluctant to become involved in? His apartment totally dark, he lay upon cold stiff starched muslin sheets his psyche too electrically charged not so much with anger as with a need to actively assert himself to those errant neighbors down below. He jumped up and gathered his house keys then locked his apartment door before heading down the hall to the stairs and then to that apartment just below. “Thump.” Thump.” “Thump.” “Thump.” The volume level of music rose incrementally as he walked forward until some fifty feet away it was staggering in its power. “Thump.” Thump.” “Thump.” “Thump.” The downbeat continued making him wonder if a physical confrontation of some sort was imminent. But onward he padded forth noiselessly towards the end of the hall and his final objective.
“Tap.” “”Tap.” “Tap.” Tap.” “Tap.” He rapped upon the small metallic door knocker sharply announcing his arrival upon a tiny flat plate anvil,. Its vigorous force trying to overcome the loud “Booms” of the music. Rudolph stood there staring pointedly at the tiny iris of the door’s peep hole trying to detect any fluctuation in light that would signal the presence of his neighbor behind it. To his surprise, it was his neighbor’s live-in girlfriend that abruptly swung it open. To Rudolph’s surprise she wears a fashion-struck black knit watch cap emblazoned with a single word, “Security.” The woman below it attired all in black displaying the mental category of blonde and frisky. He stumbled forth expertly with a short phrase to bespeak his arrival. “Music, could you please turn it down a bit?” The snippet offered in a sorry to bother you sort of way. Her lord and master striding up just behind her. The scowl upon his face inviting Rudolph in for the moral hazard of a drink. His quick surrender to their offer an affirmation counter to the original mission. But offering something in its place far more interesting in light of the general social drought afflicting all of them. The three soon gathered about the small Pullman sized counter top beers in hand, each expressing their dissatisfaction with this new unwanted development of a virus plagued life. The man of the house soon revealing himself in a telltale hoarse tone to be the source of the angst driven cries of rage issued earlier to the beat of the radio’s drum. The ‘misses’ all the while dancing too and fro, sex kitten style. Trying to gather all attention by cavorting back and forth in a child-like state of artificially powered bliss to her favorite tunes. The damn humping and bumping radio! And Rudolph, ever polite with an overly generous supply of respectful deference mentally taking this whole scene in. The presence of live humans in action peaking his voyeurism now busy at work trying to decipher the mystery behind the true natures of these two. The once anonymous duo that had hailed him down below by way of irritation. Those two neighbors taking turns ranting on about petty likes and dislikes, eventually stopping at their most mutually favorite topic that they both shared. The verbal panacea of declaring the fact of many frequent acts of sex as their ultimate most immediate goal. He commanding all attention upon his crotch with a short demonstrative hand gesture thus inviting her prompt attention to target itself to that location. A declared form of remedy that must have seemed to him to be the most fitting immediate answer to his distress. And she in turn delivering her own rapid form of response to his inference with a sharp tongued verbal epithet. It was she, Rudolph then realized, and not her angry male consort that ultimately controlled the volume and the show! Much as she did all matters of libido.
The compression of their collective circumstance weighing heavily on all. One that shut in’s like himself having been so quickly transformed by external tyranny to embrace any promise of escape in hope of some form of sexual release serving as a placebo. A convenient place keeper for what was once normal life for each of them. But one without the risk of dangerous commitment to alleviate respective pent up emotions. Yet later, when each was by themselves, wondering what was the sense of a life that was too safe and far removed from any danger at all of having to commit to any realistic type of escape that would really defy the cause of their shared mutual plight? The recent term of isolation had in fact too long been with them since decades past. It’s current worldwide pretext of physical embodiment merely revealing the plain fact of their mutual impotence to the surface of each of their consciousnesses.
Rum guts bad package too far gone to expect anything else but!
I belch, spill out, and blow out, the residue of that restless animal within
blinded by the morning like two diamond crushed into each eye
well-washed and dressed and clean clothes attired for the moment
that blazing aroma of my insides threatening contamination all around
trapped in your own doubts, millions of you, just the same, inert
not enough outdoors time, minds ceaselessly exploited by your masters
fear, constant fear, 24/7 fear, all day long, don’t touch, don’t breath
avoid everyone else, maybe your own children, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub
stand in line to pay more for less available, cash poor, credit cards maxed
stay at home, don’t go out, fear of arrest, angry words, slap, slap , punch
where is this all going, don’t think, don’t reason, go along, stay in bed, sleep
fart along with me, rum guts, bad nuts, scream and shout, bellow and roar
and be damned that I dreamed that I might be our governor in Florida!
The times that all human being live in have now become subsumed in the conversation of a ‘one world’ philosophy. The notion that on every level of importance every human being has their proverbial ‘eggs’ in one basket. But is this really true? The clarion call of Liberalism, Feminism, amd Socialism, all provide a chorus declaring that victims must have preferential consideration to the point that governments have gotten in the habit of classifying their populations by race, gender, background, and military service. The idea being to assesses a certain relative value of importance along the lines of the common dogma of these ism’s. Children are taught from just past infancy to abide by these standards of evaluation minding them in an importance far above and beyond the needs of traditional basics like reading, computing, and analyzing reality for effective truths. The group as a singular entity stressed over the needs of an individual. The end result being that certain classifications of victims that make up a small percentage of any given society are allowed to dominate it. Quite an exercise inverting the notion of plural Democracy to an insignificant level of importance and substituting the tyranny of those that are essentially a perpetual victim class.
So where does this all come from?
One merely has to look at both world and domestic history to find a current of players and events that have led to this ongoing attempt to restructure society. The times leading up to the nineteenth century saw society transformed into a global colonial world created by a small elite merchant class that established linkages with the hegemony’s of ocean going societies to exploit other less technologically savvy cultures to extract their goods and market them back home to urban consumers of their own regions. Competition became the watchword of these exploits leading to global based military exchanges with both the societies at the source providing these goods and those competing to amass them as well. The cost of this business invariably being ceded to a standing military budget to outfit and equip armies operating in many parts of the globe. The cost of same being a burden on the traditional populations at home who were heavily taxed and eventually coaxed off their traditional land to join a centralized number of growing urban populations. These populations being endemically poverty stricken and a perfect recruiting ground to replace losses in personnel supplying the manpower needs of these extensive networks of trade.
Over several centuries the stability of these respective societies adjacent to each other declined into continual competition and warfare. The idea of national boundaries versus hereditary regional identity based land holdings took precedence. The continual destabilization of smaller territories within was intellectually reformed into notions of a universality of ethos’ based upon fixed national boundaries where a common identity was fostered based upon a hegemony far up the scale of a particular region. The scions of the international merchant class seeing the opportunity to adopt a self-serving Machiavellian perspective of pitting one group against the other so as to financially support and benefit both groups. The winners of these constant inter-cine rivalries paying off the debts to the lenders. International finance was born an a new version of slavery was invented where both men and women became commodities.
As the methods of warfare became more sophisticated and lethal and a continual series of conflicts began to decimate the peaceful populations of cultures both at home and far off at the source of goods, the general populations who were most affected began to balk at the necessity of these struggles. The merchant class, ever willing to use any development to their advantage, fostered this sort of instability in the most stable and dominant of national empires so as to foster more conflict. Eventually toppling one of the most major longstanding dominant players. A series of conflicts on massive scales disrupted other major adjacent empires until a point some decades after a sense of general rebellion against the ruling structures of these countries were put in jeopardy of total overthrow to be replaced by plural democracy based republics. Their theoretical model being an offshore former colony that had inadvertently won a measure of independence from the influence of its motherland. Though the presiding merchant class had to some degree been involved in this process it did not enjoy the total control and influence that was to be expected in the mother countries within which it freely operated. A long period of attempts to fractionalize and divide this new independent national entity ensued with only partial success.
The venicle of war being the ultimate ace card employed being used in a series of economic competition based conflicts dragging this evolving nation into successive foreign conflicts that at best only served the financial interests of that nations growing business elites. Exploitation of the vast resources of that land leading to a level of independent prosperity that was hard to compete with led this merchant class to subvert the upper levels of government through financial corruption implementing precedents and independently owned foreign institutions to take over the management of the national economy. It was not long until this group secured control of the press and major businesses to gear them to their aim of centralizing their influence worldwide. Two major unimaginably bloody international conflicts later the wrecked economies of all the major nation states were slowly re-congealed into regional corporate influenced democracies. The current world of a tightly controlled credit based hegemony run by an invisible elite was pout into place.
The rights of the individual commercialized into a social credit score where a technologically monitored central entity administered society based upon constantly rating individual compliance with manager based regulations. The A.I. based system in place offering no tolerance of any infraction or unauthorized independence. The respective penalty being imposed with no hearing. This is the state of the world up to the present tense. WE, globally, are at the juncture where if this allowed to happen through the facade of crisis, humankind will simply become beasts of the field for the elite of the ever devious heirs merchant class.
That in my book is intolerable.
What is the logic behind the alternative view that this pandemic is in actuality a planned overreach to eliminate the bulk of humanity and control the rest?
The world with the exception of three countries is a banker driven world. As it has been stated in the past, if you control the money then you control the society. This has been historically demonstrated world-wide by episodes of boom and bust based upon the extension of funds and credit. The panic of 1907 and the 1929 stock market crash being two of the most famous recent examples cited where credit and or the money supply was tightened leading to a closing down of businesses supporting the general economy of society.
Nearly almost all banks in the world are under the central control of the privately owned and run Federal Reserve along with the sixteen “Too big to fail” banks located in the major capitols of the world (major branches primarily in the City of London). There is a major bank in every world capitol that serves as the control entity of that government in terms of printing currency for that economy depending of course what is used? Currency or what is referred to as paper money has no value of its own but is merely a promissory note issued by the major governing bank that can be exchanged back and forth at ground level. Everything is monetized including people at birth based upon a speculative lifetime earning capacity. The banks have several ‘tools’ at their disposal.
When a loan is provided it is based solely on the borrower’s promise to pay and not any real wealth within the bank itself. The bank simply works on the fractional reserve concept where it is allowed to lend out many times the value of actual bank owned secured monies on hand. The old standard of 10:1 having in to many cases being extended to 300:1 as it was in 2007 with the housing bubble, and presumably how it ended up in 2020. Essentially ‘money’ is made at ground level with loans based upon the control of the higher central banking authority. The last twelve years since has run up an even greater amount of unsecured debt at staggering levels.
The government is the biggest borrower running up trillions that since 1933 it has to pay interest on to the independent Federal Reserve. Congress apportions money for a budget and directs the Treasury to borrow it while issuing Treasury bonds both domestically and foreign at guranteed rates of interest paid. This spreads the debt load. China currently may have trillions of dollars in these bonds.
If money is created out of thin air to keep the economy moving as the Federal Reserve has and is doing it will eventually lead to inflation and prices on staple items will go up based upon scarcity and demand. If you shut down the economy and people are out of work with no ability to provide for their families in terms of food and shelter there will eventually be violence and social collapse.
As the government supports major financial institutions over the need of the population they cede over control of society to those entities. They then have the major influence in terms of policies both foreign and domestic. They can impose agendas favorable to their view of society with the government as their donkey enforcing same.
This is where it seems we are at.
The odds that this current pandemic will by itself decimate society they way the official explanation is posed are beyond astronomical based logic on the science of medical knowledge amassed over the last fifty years. Viruses are in everyone’s bodies, animals included. The respective effectiveness of the immune system of the ‘animal’ is what keeps them well. If it is damaged or overwhelmed then the viruses will activate.
The last half century has seen the general environment contaminated by airborne and water based industrial and auto pollution, treated public water and contaminants, food additives in terms of preservatives and GMO’s, chemical out-gassing from household products and durable goods, EMR based radiation from hard wired and transmitted electrical products, and from Frankenstein cocktails of numerous vaccines. All having an effect of challenging and downgrading the immune system.
The current pandemic has been evaluated based upon computer models supplied by corporations in tow of these too big to fail banking entities. They are currently being subject to credibility based on the fact that many more people test ‘positive’ for the virus and are healthy never being affected by it than have been made ill. The question seems to suggest that the two tests employed not only will indicate the possibility of COVID-19 not absolutely confirming it BUT also that one has previously in the years before had a flu shot.
The contents of these mixtures containing all sorts of laboratory animal grown virus types by default both dead and active that are now within the system of the person that receives them. The COVID-19 patients that have the most extreme decedent outcomes generally have other medical conditions that along with lifelong accumulation of toxins allow their system to be overwhelmed.
There up to now has been ample evidence that anti-viral vitamins and longstanding medicines can both help prevent and defeat the outcomes of this disease if applied at its early onset. These are the substances that are being dismissed as non-effective by current national officials in charge. The party line being that a dubious big pharma based vaccine now in development must be implemented. One that has nano chipping capabilities for space based monitoring by government entities who are currently busy filling the near earth orbits with satellites design to monitor the same. A technology in use in the military. This will be the completion of an initiative or real time 24/7 environmental monitoring of society by smart technology similar to one’s phone but nested in every monitored device. A social credit scoring system where one’s monitored behavior will determine the quality of life will be imposed replacing conventional money and policing.
Guess who gets to run it?
So here we all sit, literally speaking, waiting for the resumption of our normal lives. The excuse of a potentially fatal disease possibly striking us all down cited as a reason to follow every command from above. A sort of mental lottery being played so to speak where in the fashion of the parlor game of musical chairs the last person with a chair to support them wins. The trouble being that stopping everything in every society is not a game. It is a coup!
What is every human society in every manifestation all about the world but a functional model of survival based upon positive interaction? And now we are all told not to interact save through the technology afforded to us by a commercial minded elitist corporate cult. One that believes that any demand that they make can be legitimized by ceding a bit of wealth in the form of payment of services. Their mentality of gathering up all the material resources under their exclusive control giving them the right to take control of all. A society that has been cultivated to surrender its material wealth to that few without question. And which finds itself impoverished in an organized interlocking society that is so interdependent that if a single cog fails the entire system goes down to destruction. And the only ones supposedly on call to fix it being figures whose credibility has to be called into question by dubious participation in previous similar events that have resulted not in reasonable solutions but incomprehensible devastation.
The choice being to carry on in this mindset of a strict hegemony where all decisions about life and the proper manner of living are made from remote managers at the top? Or to regain control by force of numbers to bring back that power to collections of individuals with differing priorities but are willing to cooperate through reasonable compromise? Those that control the power to do so employ great resources to convince us all otherwise! So much more efficient to see all societies over the surface of our planet normalized into a singular unity. To remove all individual characteristics that would impede that goal from humanity at large so as to achieve that aim at all costs. If not by indoctrination, then by violence to eliminate every group that stands in the way of the progress of a universal singularity.
The irony of the growth of the tool of technology serving to monitor and enslave for the few being offered to the many as a means of empowerment and escape from the tyranny of organized wage slavery being stunning. The human species is at a crisis point where a calculated form of self created a chaos is inevitable! The excuses fly about indirectly blaming an eagerness to pursue technologies by blaming the invasive qualities of mother nature are now wearing thin. The masses will not but up with the same old political Kabuki of experts pretending expertise only revealing in the process that either they do not know that they are talking about in the first place or that is merely a cynical game of power orchestrated to manipulate the population at large to concede their freedom of choice the whims of their ‘betters‘.
The only saving grace being that there is sufficient independence and wisdom still existing at ground level for people to take back control of their lives from these self-appointed nabobs who wish to acquire god-like powers over them.
In the flowering of youth we start out seeking to explore paradise thinking it is eternal and never ending yet not realizing until it is far too late in that well-tempered hell of our own making in the tedium of later life that denying our original impulse to have lingered would eventually become fatal to finding that original sense of untainted happiness.
Better now to throw away that same old inconvenient sense of caution and follow the rabbit hole down to where it inevitably leads. A hole in the clouds expressing blue skies above. Success meets with one’s misfortune at the tunnel’s end. The person you eventually become during that journey is the one that you are left with.
It is not so important to be right but to have convictions that you will not surrender yourself into playing the fool. Rather, better by far to earnestly express one’s self with the full conviction in one’s own belief not playing the part on the ultimate authority on all things of importance, so much as someone who can confidently trust in the continuum of their own sense of awareness.
It is easy to be fooled in a world that devotes so many of its vital resources to do so. But it is unforgivable to surrender your conscious thought to the passing whims of the crowd lest one be unexpectedly found wanting by them. Society has been let loose upon itself by those that would wish to play the role of demons so as to find those powers that they supposed make them no different than gods.
One’s shield against this evil comes in the form of one’s faith in themselves. Not an ego bound journey but a deeper connection with that ever-present mystery within. To encounter that connection is the closest one can ever come to solving their own puzzle.
The sun shone brightly through the vertical blinds. Blue spacious empty sky peering through the abbreviated slats revealing an occasional wispy fallucca sailing past overhead. The small apartment seemed to be getting incrementally smaller with each passing day. Its occupant sitting upon the alternate of the two most favored seats in its central lounge. Two bedrooms next to a small bath to the north and a oversize kitchenette to the East by the entrance to the hall. An oboe filling the room with a high tone atmosphere many pay grades above its occupant. A hushed for of quiet accentuated by the hint of a restless wind being the only other occupant present in the room. Neuralgia of the limbs like a fire beneath an overfilled pot.
Severin was an overweight man. The less than proud possessor of a permanent pouch. Not one for diets and despite strict regimens of exercise in his middle adult years his middle persisted beyond all attempts to relinquish it. The few times that due to neglect of his health due to stress he had almost lost it he had plunged into inevitable sickness. One that over recent years had less and less amenable to the company of strangers. Perhaps it was his age to readily hanging out pressing against his belt. He had put on an extra inch or two in the first weeks of the quarantine. The apartment was too small to pace about and he had canceled his account with the cable media provider so there was not much to do beyond a daily routine of downloading old out of date movies from the upstairs party room’s Internet. Something provided as a mostly unused amenity of his building to snag new tenants on behalf of unit owners that otherwise might default on paying their monthly assessment.
His stultifying routine that with so many others might have been interdicted by the rote imbibing of alcohol in the form of cheap beer or wine was a non-starter. Perhaps an undiagnosed tendency towards A.D.S. kept him frenetically on his toes without any hope of soothing through common conventional forms of customary medication. Too much trouble with a sensitive nature easily put into imbalance by the different name brand concoctions of patent pharmaceuticals over the years turning off on anything beyond what was designated as organic or natural. The small phalanx of cans of cheap brew growing cold on the back bottom shelf of the fridge downed in direct accompaniment with a meal. Usually spaghetti. A ration of one can only no frequently than a can every other night. As of late that had accelerated to a can each night. The tension of this imposed solitude was getting to him.
A swarmy uppity pretentious female voice broke his attention from the pocketbook that he had balance just the right way to catch the optimal amount of illumination on the yellowish craft paper page. Something had happened to the radio in the last three decades. Where before most announcers stuck to simply naming the selections that played at length. This new breed of Feminist obsessed cultured want-a-be’s insisted on play like they were with the listener have a conversation inferring a generic level of probing familiarity. Essentially a mild mind fuck to convince you of some otherwise vacant endearing quality to stand in for the vapid lack of identity that probably had characterized their upbringing as petty make a difference Socialist educated Liberals. “Shut the fuck up!”, he would yell out spontaneously into outer space whenever he heard one of these maven’s plying her bilious presence as a palpable entity within the otherwise empty space of his vacant room.
His eye seemed to track over to the hall that was festooned with a small collection of framed photographs. Trophies of a sort that spoke towards his former efforts as a would be professional and equally to his lack of batting average in terms of romance. A ball, a bunt to first, and a line drive. Only one of them getting to first base. But in the end not scoring anything beyond a lifelong lasting pall of remorse. Some people were lucky in business, he was perpetually challenged in the realm of females. The all too trusting naivete of young adulthood converted over time into the chrome plate of apparent misogyny. Few if any ever saw him in the company of a female in the vicinity of his own abode. He was written off by the other tenants as a perpetual hermit.
It was nearly five-thirty and he rose up and cantered unsteadily towards the toilet. Standing over the bowl in the semi-darkness of the passing of afternoon like the Colossus of Rhodes he drained forth the remnants of his favorite beverage. If the human body was composed of seventy percent water, his had the tinge of coffee grounds. It might have been easily conjectured that one of his incrementally persistent ailments was due to this unchecked indulgence to this addiction. Prostate and other plumbing issues in a sorry state somewhat akin to that of his aging residence. The stand pipes handling the back end of things were equally a jumble. His daily regimen of a hearty two mile walk had been interrupted by the insistence of the state that any activity outside one’s residence be abrogated indefinitely. A hardship that was having some troubling effects on his system.
The one saving grace was the expansiveness of the buildings top seated lounge area. In better times it had been rented out for a pittance to building residents. Now it stood empty and mostly abandoned. It’s main virtue beyond a way to cheat paying a monthly fee was an expansive view of the city stretching from the far north west suburbs all the way over to the communities south of the city’s center on the lake. One could measure the locations of their former existences by the landmarks visible along the line of it’s 180 degree view. Severin had originally avoided the place for years never attending the two semi-annual celebrations that were held there in former years. Now he was a regular constant room ‘s the viewpoint of the room’s two security cameras. Staring away alternately at the laptop screen and the panoramic view outside curled over on a metal folding chair by an equally portable table. A captive of an equally apportioned display of society from both an interior and exterior framing. This state of limbo placing him in a form of suspended animation of sorts. Each day an enforced sojourn slowly rotting his carcass like raw meat left out static in equatorial Summer sun.
Severin didn’t believe it. Didn’t believe anymore. Two plus months of a more refined sense of inaction beyond what had sequestered his existence from five years past seemed a grand irony solving the philosophical puzzle in some respects as to who was really in charge of the universe. How could it be that instead of just him being brought low at the approach of existence’s end could one have been joined by the rest of earthly humanity? Or, based upon the incessant reports of the details of the epidemic as well as all associated actions, could it be that this whole situation was a scurrilous misrepresentation? A gambit by the mask of the state playing their hand of a follow through of the abolition of individual freedom by the snare of a crafty Socialist minded ploy leading to a singular universal planetary empire under the jurisdiction of finance? Severin checked his thought. “Too wordy!“, he thought. To clip all its flourish, it was the final move, winner take all, of a Globalist plot.
If there was a virus at all, it had not been proven beyond a high degree of ant like bureaucratic orchestration of manpower and resources. The past two decades had revealed the pattern of conducting exercises that on special occasionally required the sacrifice of human life. Their absolute total control of all broadcast airwaves assured them that they had complete control of the daily narrative. The high production values of their longstanding entertainment offshoot, Hollywood, allowed them to produce any sort of sumulation that would obtain the necessary suspention of disbelief necessary to convince an ever gullible public. Years of indoctrination versus education in the school system of the land had provided fertile minds ready for the planting seeds of any form of the latest deception. If it came from a screen versus word of mouth, the former was the one unhesitatingly embraced as absolute truth. The virus was not a microns long hidden menace threatening human existence. That was the demonstrated intent of hegemonic cabal who thought only of the enfranchisement of their plan to create that long dreamt of state of having total domination over every inch of the entire globe. The many examples of a less than accidental thematic predictive programming, long recognized as more propaganda than flight of fantasy escape, now a another tell confirming the nature of the sort of promised land where they intended to lead the rest of the scrupulously mentally indentured flock of guileless humanity.
“Fuck all those goddamn dirty bastard motherfuckers!”, his lips spat forth in a spontaneous terrets like fury. A Bach quartet was now playing in measured counterpoint oblivious to the violence of his sentiments. The humanistic illusion of of an inviolable universal order as ministered by a eighteenth century version of the music of the spheres. The music lurching to an end handing over to the recitation by the announcer chanting a pest control’s PSA. “Pests?“, he thought, “Insects!” “Wasn’t that what this whole situation boiled down to?” He was considered a form of vermin by his betters. One that had to be controlled through a measured form of organized elimination. Their exalted species of man overturning his kind by way of one’s own folly as motivated by the instilling of unreasonable fears. Self-destruction by was of one’s own mental incompetence to factor the situation for what it proved to be, an overreach. To some opinions, out of their own exasperation of every methodology of physical violence over history gone awry.
The only solution left being total annihilation of the zoological bred portion of biped in favor of one that they had sired through intensive selective breeding. A variety of entity safely constituted to remain servile and responsive to its masters whim. One that would hold no lasting grudge when by that same whim some of its kind might be suddenly terminated as a matter of expedience by its betters. The tried and true but clumsy alternative of war and its resultant byproduct of physical destruction not made obsolete. Where did this penchant for wordiness come from he wondered. The fact that his transmutation of thought to language had too much art and too much dogma wondered about his own control over his persistent form of social insanity. Why was it so hard for him to submit to a mindset that most others routinely adapted safely restricting their exterior utterances to the weather, sports and their kids? The answer at this late date was obvious! He had never really been capable of falling in love with a woman.
He was the irritating sort of male that in early adulthood had much preferred the Pygmalion attitude to worship from afar using the stair step of soft porn directed fantasies to moderate his expectations rather than take directly in hand the back and forth of the eternal chase. When his expectations would wane he might often fold his tent and move on back into the desert for the solace of solitude and a recharge of his fantasies. Having experienced some unexpected roadblocks along the way turning the tables on this sense of escape he became drawn into having to confront personalities equally as demanding as his own. The experience culminating in a marriage that petered away into insignificance as far as any shared emotions were concerned. From that point forward, his appreciation of females and their womanly wiles had taken on a cynical tone. The need for physical intimacy becoming bankrupted by a stony indifference to any invitation offering a lasting connection. His universe from that point on was populated at best with friends and acquaintances, and not lovers.
But then, what did any of that have to do with the current indefinite sense of crisis that had now become the guiding force contaminating people’s lives in general? The building he lived in, though it contained over a hundred residents was the type in which it was hard to detect the fact of their existence. Even in normal times, he had made no effort to know his neighbors. Even if in some fundamental brainless way they manifested irritating behaviors that were next to impossible to ignore. Loud music, dope smoke, the usual annoying refuges of the young and care less. There were exceptions of course. A few building legacies from generations past his own that still lingered about the lobby by the mailboxes. Or taking a daily stroll with their walkers through the party room’s lounge eager to start up a conversation out of a lack of regular human contact. One had just been claimed the previous weekend by symptoms as of yet to be determined. There was always the happenstance of new faces occasionally to be found in the building’s elevator. A virtual Ellis island revealing that the cheap rent charged for legacy units that had been ceded to family members after death were quickly occupied by a diverse crowd from all corners of the earth.
The observance of the quarantine in his building was equally haphazard. Some wore masks and gloves as the CDC had finally succumbed to admit after spreading confusion for the first three months of the outgrowth of the crisis. But many did not. Those who while maintaining a casual sense of social distancing had their hands over everything slumping about against the railings of the cabin as if completely unaware of the daily strident invocations coming from every sort of social media platform. Maybe it was that age old defiance for convention that one’s transition between adolescence to adulthood demanded? Maybe it was just simple stupidity cultivated from being warehoused by public institutions all their lives instead of being taught how to reason? The penned up emotion that one felt in these short vertical travels seemed to make one want to explode in the same way that trying to hold your breath behind your mask would after the slow travel past the ninth floor. If leprosy elicited a common response of both horror and disgust then these sorts had no hope of making friends anytime soon. Most times however the elevators afforded one the relief of no companionship. Severin could tap the eraser of his disposable pencil on the floor button with a measure of assurance that fate in the form of some ignoramus Typhoid Mary had his number.
A strange sense of weekly communion with some former friends and remaining family had as of late slowly been rekindled. Age and the onset of expected disease had whittled down the family to three cousins, two of them warring siblings. One living in a condition of near infirmity with his wife in a modest city suburb. One of the other youngest of his cousins, now retired with his wife, in an older section of the city on the fringe of a ghetto. The third a recluse by the airport in what was originally his families’ former residence. The latter now transposed to a nursing home with a terminal lung condition. The fact of his long odds of survival complicated by the insidiousness of this devastating pandemic. While the younger cousin was only an occasional caller, the fact of his brother’s circumstances made Severin confident that at some point sooner than later that he would receive a call announcing the older brother’s passing. The demise of their collective past coming ever closer. Severin’s step daughter with whom he had suffered a break some years back over their respective views on politics had begun an infrequent dialogue once again on the Internet. A very verbose highly intellectual presence who’s offerings sometimes seemed mini volumes almost impossible to keep up with in terms of sheer length. The responses of her surrogate sire being conversely extremely curt and somewhat teasing in offering trite analogies to counter the seriousness of the often formal tone between them. Still the bond of years seemed to rule out the possibility of a final separation.
The isolation that had descended upon all was wearing thin. Though Severin refused to surrender to sleeping during the day he would catch himself falling into occasional narcoleptic moments. His head sinking down on his chest and then an instant later pitching upwards as if he was catching himself in the midst of a fall. His physical inactivity broken up by short walks around the building looked forward to but answered in mid stride with the realization that there was nowhere really to go but walk up and down the empty streets. The ‘C’ word was not an anathema and his appetite for daily news updates had been deferred to text based articles forgoing all the regular media’s click baiting. Time was lost in this way and when he tried to analyze what had happened in the course of a day while waiting for rest at night it was impossible to make a realistic activity of his actions. For a person despite having an outward appearance of someone ever at risk of being classed as a veteran couch potato, this unexpected sojourn was Hell. The short abbreviated excursions were an much atrophied form of the several miles plus of sidewalk he was otherwise used to. Those weekly trips into the city to make the rounds of cafes and art museums now beyond reach a mental degradation was having its effect. How long was indefinite, he thought. Not one to ever lose control he wondered when a distinct personality change would occur? Was the world he once considered part of what so recently a normal life now just a passing recollection?
Severin had been guilty of a number so significant mood swings over the decades. Some of which that had brought him to the brink of self-destruction. His upbringing had been what might have been characterized as normal beyond the fact that his father had been away on business for significant amounts of time up to the end of his adolescence. No great traumas beyond that solitary sense of loneliness felt particularly by only children when they are moved about to new neighborhoods abruptly. Severin had experienced three such major moves in his early life running the usual gauntlet of ceremonial abusive being the new kid on the block. The resultant effect being someone that tended to strategically recede in the face of a threat to a point where if the assault continued a counter attack was made. This awkwardness resigning him to the dirty dozen brigade of hopeless candidates of his high school designated most likely not to succeed. To say that anyone sidelined through no fault of their own might hold some degree of repressed anger was not a stretch of the imagination. Generally those sorts of things worked themselves out into one of two categories. Severin outwardly tended towards someone that played the victim or at least held an inordinate amount of sympathy for the same. But in some ways an alter ego held a deep seated wish to enable some form of ritual vengeance. If not on others then one that was directed upon himself.
Violence in all its many forms had since early adolescence had become a major interest in terms of constant study. Certainly the popular media of time in terms of both cinema and television provided endless grist to be milled.The figures from polyethylene play sets of his childhood recounting stormy historical sagas of wars dating from the ancient Romans, American Civil War and all the way through envisioning conflict with here to fore undiscovered alien presences. The impression of a common theme of anti-hero beyond help from an indifferent society a consistent thread in the underlying psychology molding young male minds of that time. A another factor was the probability that those more susceptible to that sort of indoctrination invariably had no place in the pantheon for anything female. Maybe that boiled down more accurately to a permanent sense of unease. His own mother was a model of the ideal of both motherhood and career independence. Always there when she was needed but living a life of her own in the practice of the arts. The female peers of his own generation always at a distance from the strange little interloper from out of town. He put off equally by their forwardness as much as their elusive distance from him. It was ever always most confusing!
The sentence of universal self-confinement was beginning to seem as much a dream as the loss of what had been once been considered reality. The space lived in not unlike that point in the evening when viewers had to endure a solid block of commercials between the end of one program an the beginning of the next. The more committed cadre of seasoned watchers completely familiar with the thematic formats and contexts of action particular to each presentation. The current situation was more like the beginning of a new season of viewing when the first episodes of each were anybody’s guess. The expectation of seeing a corollary of what had once come before in past seasons not necessarily guaranteeing that the show coming up next would relate or even be good! A common sense of mounting angst seemed to be leveraging its way into all general conversations. The apartment was now taking on an abandoned quality significant of mounting despair. Severin had known a similar empty impression during the week just after his mother had past away at the hospital. The topic of intensive care and ventilators was on his shit list and had been since that time.
He had some time back made a promise that his connection with anything medical had come to an end. Any subsequent malady that he could not address that might have its way with him would not occasion a call for outside help. The current situation now seemed to redouble that resolution. If ever there was any need to add proof to the impression that the world had not substantially changed since childhood the fact of its consistently increasing indifferent forms of lethality proved it. With too much time on his hands he delved more and more into the plethora of articles about the virus. Doubts were being thrown about concerning its actual effect and the issue of its source was having a geopolitical context that for someone that had lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis of the early sixties smelled of the onset of a probable coming world conflict. The incessant media bombardment to those following along the current all consuming virus narrative, all of which having become unintended players in the drama, including of course just about everyone on the planet, the notion that the virus was the worst of their worries seemed completely out of consideration. Severin on the other hand saw it as a thinly veiled diversion.
The mafia had an old trick of lending out money to smaller merchants then taking their establishments over when they defaulted making the poor unfortunate debtor the front of a well practiced scheme of running up tabs from every available outside vendor and finally burning the premises down. The only difference between this unprecedented event and the nature of these much smaller scale techniques was the number of zero’s on the amounts involved and the arson contemplated coming in the form of a global military clash that would leave all societies in shambles. It wasn’t a shock. It was the kind of assumption that could be so easily lost amidst the large file under the heading of uninformed conspiracy theories. It seemed amazing to Severin that the general population of the country as he knew from several decades before had sired offspring that were so amenably indifferent to recognizing the truth of potentially dangerous circumstances to their lives and tossing them off as inconsequential to their future existence as if the recitation of a critical political crisis was simply another Netflix docudrama episode that they could be assured that would evaporate after the final credits. So many years of intensive techniques of casual indoctrination by the the various types of media had done their work too well!
Certainly in the corollary of the various repetitive scripted themes that the media of his day had implanted in his thinking it was obvious that there was absolutely nothing could do or say that would change these events if indeed they were in play. Yet the impression that as being the sole owner of his own experience of life he was somehow part of the process of bending the rules. How many times had his life seemed like some fantastic game of continual coincidences that made him wonder if there was another level unseen by him where undisclosed players were prompting him to make decisions as if he was a set piece on a game playing board? In the world that had displaced his own sense of self with movie avatars a sense of indecision reigned. It was not as if he was fully taken by his own momentary sense of discovery. He had been working his way towards vindicating his conclusions all along. Yet what sort of action could he take that showed complete conviction in this actual sense of definite reality? Load up his sedan with food and clothes along with a few personal possessions and head out to some sparsely populated region? What impact could a city born and raised neophyte have in the midst of what would be for him table raza in terms of possible survival?
The adage of actions speak louder than words did not seem to cover the vagaries of the effects of shock on a mass population in a continuous state of stunned mass compliance. What would happen he wondered when from scarcity and hunger they might suddenly wake up? Mass SHF panic? Outbreaks of civil violence? Severin had heard many stories about exercises that certain special branches of the military had held with foreign military forces. The agreements that the former chief executive had signed without the need for Congressional approval that would allow these troops on U.S. soil without prompting by officials. A massive conspiracy by officials burrowed in at all levels of government both state and federal. The mother’s milk of what had been termed for so long the baby bottle of conspiracy theories. The trouble being that many of these pronouncements were historically recorded as present or past events on the official record. The Lockstep had begun to the Globalist Utopia just as predicted by their Georgia monument. But of course, all this didn’t make any sense! Just a case of Hollywood induced flight of fancy psychosis/ That was except for one thing. The cards of how society was being guided were being furiously reshuffled. Inconceivable levels of wealth in the form of liens on credit based upon future labor were being expended. The system as people knew it had been undeniably wrecked and most people had been set up in a scenario where they had few option to expect the necessities of life would continue if they did not go along with those taking control. The lack of trust that over the years that had crystallized within like lime clogging someone’s plumbing pipes was now in some strange way vindicated. What really had changed since the time of the ancients as he had perceived in his own daily play in childhood? Had he been somewhere in the vicinity of thirty, give or take, then . . . Then what?
Several days of the same utter nonsense of empty space efforts to mark time with useless activity attempting to fill what was otherwise once a life was wearing him thinner. Hollywood dramas and his collection of unread novels seemed to irritate more than soothe. It was increasingly clear that the old work, much of which that had contained his decades of existence was dead. His status as a citizen had been eliminated and he was left with the dilemma of whether he would have to remaster his own personality to favor his survival by a whole new set of rules. This new world was going to have to involved a studied form of craftiness that most likely would break all the former rules of what was once considered decent. The notion of decent was no longer going to get anyone anywhere it seemed in the scheme of a totalitarian world empire. Ruthlessness and actions without remorse were going to have to replace any respect for one’s fellow man. The unleashing of that deeper darker part of his personality made him shiver. He had always felt himself a person that had some moral boundaries. Certainly not killing anyone was one of the cardinal taboos. But now the cards as read inferred that society as a whole was going to go to the dogs as many upstairs had mandated. All it would take would be a week or two of empty grocery stores and the looting and burning’s would begin. The law of the jungle would descend and everyone would be fair game. If it came down to someone breaking in and assaulting him, for any reason, worrying about the application of deadly force would be an afterthought. The whole situation mad him seethe with anger at those that thought themselves so clever to set these forces loose.
The idea of the means of self protection was not a foreign topic to Severin. He had grown up in a time in history after the second most major war had almost mandated that one’s offspring would be introduced to firearms as a normal part of one’s upbringing. The fact that Hollywood and television of the time always displayed a penchant to exploit such practices, mostly to their detriment, eventually grew in a proportion to where their was a sense of stigma along with an inordinate amount of baggage for the desire to have at least one handy. The explosion of sales of such weapons had been ramped up by each successive initiatives in this last decade to force the issue of their expulsion from society as a necessary legal means of self-protection should the need unexpectedly arise. It was obvious now that it was only a matter of time till the reapplication of state control over the coming predictable chaos would criminalize anyone still in active possession of same. Another inevitable conflict that in the world before was always lurking in the fishbowl of one’s unconsciousness. Now it seemed a question of devising a strategy of second guessing timing and and implementing artful craft to guide one’s own response out of the realm of fatal.
Yet a more important matter of the issue of shaking the complacency that the old work had instilled that in so many ways had displaced the virtues of youthfulness. He felt in some ways like the stub of an old pencil at this point in his like. The intellect had to be resharpened and focused at the task at hand in terms of continued survival. He had no friends commanding influence, and at this point with this unprecedented situation, who did? The former convenience of the notion of friendship had been wrecked in only a matter of weeks where now the first impulse of people was to pull away from anyone beyond near family to recede to a safe distance. Friendship would atrophy fast falling into two categories both equally dangerous. Those that would pretend based upon a sense of desperation to achieve their needs by an artificial theatrical performance our of expedience. And the other smaller group of those that out an matching sense of desperation would cling to what once was without taking account the seismic shift in the nature of society. Mistakes would be made by this group that could bring down one’s existence through a lack of awareness of the new misapplication of authority. Or a lack of loyalty to the actions that might be taken on one’s own behalf. There was nothing that could be done at this point to change that! Though Severin had always been tagged as a loner, it was promising to be a very lonely existence from this point onward!
The persistence of the past nagged him. Whenever distracted by the mundane it was hard to imagine that the whole world had been brought to a total standstill. That his own community was at the mercy of petty bureaucrats that had little useful knowledge to balance against their own political animal instincts that anyone with common sense in terms of human nature could be assured that was being actively played upon by those anonymous people upstairs. He could imagine that those in the third class lounge of the Titanic might have persisted in believing that the crew was busily performing necessary tasks to increase the overall chances of survival. Yet, also ordering round after round on the house as the forward compartment flooding tilted the ship inevitably at a sharper and sharper angle. The futility of going up on deck convincing some to suppress their instinct for survival at any cost by dousing these flames through more drink in one hand and the other hanging from a support! By this point in time it was obvious. He was going up on deck and over the railing for a swim. Severin looked down at his paunch and noticed that it had shrunk down like a week old helium filled balloon. A new life was beginning to sprout forth inside. The old needed to be forgotten and the new confronted. Who cared about the future? It was only the singular instant of the present that counted from this point onward.