“Why would women give up the power they have by the facility of birthing humanity to entertain a power they can never have? Is their vanity so strong? Are the overwhelming emotions of the day driving insecurity to a a point so unmanageable? Why would a woman wish to travel alone by themselves through this minefield bereft of the company of their counterparts who would gladly vouchsafe their safety for the price of a smile? Where does the unending rage to spite one’s mate at any price to maintain such an existences? Perhaps the indoctrination of the current popular didactic? A level of perpetual masochism that demands that they prove that they personally are tougher than their emotions suggest? Perhaps the permission denied by themselves to entertain those underlying dissatisfied feelings driving the inconstancy of emotions? What man among you can really say that they can posit comprehension?” He sat there by himself alone.
Why in the Hell did he travel to that place in the first place? The reaction to the incident was not so much horror as unpleasant surprise. That young modern women would behave so? He shook his head staring blankly into space trying to reconstruct the order of events that had occurred less than a day before. What had initially brought him to that lower basement apartment as far as motivation was concerned was at this point academic. Perhaps some posted personal column local advertisement? A reference to it in conversation overheard from another anonymous party at a table in the coffeehouse beside his own? An impromptu gathering that night of eccentric personages. Some frivolous eclectic gathering of fun seekers that like himself were tired of the usual humdrum of mental candy canes offered up as fit activity to fill in the gape of the coming weekend. Being solitary in his outlook to the point of obsession was an issue that he needed a ready cure to combat. The last live body breathing female that he had directed his emotions towards was a distant memory reaching back to the relative fog over a decade or so. And she was merely playing the part of a period placed at the end of a long parenthetical list of other names now long lost and forgotten. Attempts at elusive types of relationships in all their varied forms had merely led to the expected eventuality intervening bouts of emotional oblivion. And as of late, the temporal balm of various oasis’ of pornographic Internet site that had now become his inappropriate virtual mistress. One that he was reluctant to employ too often out of conscience and even more hesitant to admit to in public. The need to once more directly engage with reality to dispel these latent artificial fantasies in any way seemed ever more needfully appropriate. He found himself at the border of some innocuous heretofore unknown community. Darkness having just conquered the last of sunlight for the day as he checked addresses along the length of a completely foreign street. His ultimate destination being a shabby two-story legacy flat of nearly a century past leveraged in incognito amidst others of a similar ilk. The sort that the more intrepid of the society’s youth of today tended to desire to inhabit during that initial period of exploration on the way to adulthood. The type enjoyed before that eventual arrival of common sense matured and directed them elsewhere.
The recondite rite of passage of entry to the inner main stage of his recollected scenario being curiously unattainable to mind, his thoughts focused on how he had found himself within a small circle of particularly handsome young attractive females. A contemporary coven of sorts that seemed to revolve about an eclectic form of esoteric pomp and ceremony. One that unexpectedly afforded him with the requisite status one would have held by appropriate peers groups only close in years to their own generation. Adhering to inexplicable conventions that seemed impossible for him to ferret out! The behaviors exhibited by each in turn seeming odd to him, proclaiming a hint of the unorthodox in what might unexpectedly surface. His appearance, though chronologically relatable to the elder generation that had fostered his hosts, did not invite a source of derision. One that, given his advancing age as betrayed by his gray hair and paunch, one might have initially surmised? This all too evident accumulation of years placing him at that point where he might have been a characteristic avatar of a grandparent to any of them. But curiously enough, each of them engaged him as an individual. Each seemingly sensing him as a unexpected presence that had been decanted from a faraway fabled cult of fairy book tale. They seemed enthusiastic to note every response to their inquiries. And in turn, he relished his long abandoned lusting fancies of youthful animal attraction to the flower of their obvious charms of youth that each of them respectively radiated. A bevy of mermaids playing their lilting tones to his waxing Ulysses. Something that he was really not prepared for! This line of mutual allure and gravity of respect ranging throughout so many unexpected topics. Ones especially that he might have feared to voice otherwise. Lest he in other circumstances be immediately castigated as someone irredeemably perverse and then cast out bitterly into the night. Over minutes that seemed to lag into hours, it became evident that more than a dozen or so in number would emerge at various times from behind a dark purple velvet curtain. The arched portal cloaking the unseen recesses of the back of the apartment. He noticed that the overwhelming majority of these nymphs were pierced by metal decorations that thrust into the most tender areas of their exposed flesh. Lips, cheeks, foreheads, eyebrows! All carrying a silver stud or metal ornamentation. A badge of honor to their general membership in this club. Or maybe a or reward acknowledging some kind of demonstrated endurance of something that to his estimation must have been about constant discomfort? A standard convention by this time perhaps? It was true in terms of its evidence being embodied by the last two generations. Yet still startling to his own mind. The contrast of what what was increasingly seeming to be scanty attire revealing even more examples of this penchant for trendy body modification. Itself encouraging a shift to topics of a more offbeat nature that seemed to increasingly probe the boundaries of his own hidden sensibilities.
And more and more, he became motivated to actively respond to their free flowing inquiries by rashly revealing his own attitudes on topics normally thought to be taboo by the current trend of the larger conventionally repressed prevailing Liberal society. He feeling his oats heeding that unconscious need to fit in as motivated by a latent insecurity of quite possibly suddenly made the fool by appearing too out of touch with their own views to bother with. Though he could not now recall in reflection how the topic had been introduced, the general topic of discussion became Sado-Masochism. The center being that unexpected aporetic pleasure that was inherent in pain rituals occasioned by intense forms of physical restraint. One that generated a conquest for some of the obvious fears engendered by the practice of the same. And though his own actual personal experiential knowledge of such things was limited only a brief episode of costumed play sometime before the ‘year zero’ of the rest of this group, he forged ahead onward into postulating the gory details of what had been passed along to him via the ready store of Internet based virtual experiences of sexual deviance derived from those sites . Sequences and images of impotent struggles against intricate cinctures being still fresh in his mind from the previous night. He put forth his own musings on the relative virtues of different varieties of rope, leather, steel and their uses. The glowing reception evident within the eyes of his surrounding audience magically building to shine forth through the room’s dimness encouraging him on even more to play the expert on all things kinky. Perhaps he lost himself for a while within the voluminous smoke and mirrors of his own burgeoning ego? But a slight chill overtook him at a stopping point when it became obvious that more than a few of those passing back and forth just behind his audience were now sporting handcuffs for bracelets. Some with their arms held tightly back by other pairs of the same. Others in this throng that had previously seen in extravagant within some sought after resale frock now reappeared in their own bare flesh. His lecture now fully exhausted and coming to a close the conversation shifted back to a general discussion held among those that had not suddenly disappeared back into the apartment’s interior. He was gently escorted by both arms to the same cloth draped portal to the back room just beyond. Though the the general tone of their conversation of his escorts did not betray anything extraordinary just beyond the velvet drape, the sight revealed as it was swept to one side snatched away his breath. There in every section of the garishly lit interior salon were the rest of the young maidens all mutually engaged within the active practice that he had so long-windedly just expounded upon!
His initial shock was not diminished by the fact that his sidelong glances to the maidens beside him invited encouraging smiles! His hostesses seeming to convey that he was an honored guest. And hopefully, by virtue of the import their expressions, part and partial willing to similarly engage with them in this immediate ritual of these aberrant practices. His own emotions now being confronted with the fact that his own latent sense of misdirected pleasure wrought though a prolonged history of voyeuristic fantasy did not necessarily equate to his desire to be involved in its palpable practice. He realized that he was not there fate to be forcefully dragged unwillingly to perform these rites at his bodily peril but even more deviously had been hoisted on his own petard by some trick of celestial directed Karma. Wherein the sights that were familiar on the computer screen became anathema. The same ones that might have provided him with heightened degree of animal pleasurable now self-imposed by the demented play of these beautiful young mermaids only summoned forth a sense of despair. The misuse of their means of delight in so many varieties of ruthlessly applied deviant means struck him as something hideously morose. A form of particularly disturbing self-destructive behavior that derailed a more genuine form of emotion that might have been otherwise discovered with some faithful male counterpart through tenderness and harmony. The persistent entreaties by some of them in gleefully expressed offers for him to participate as a theatrical aggressor deux à deux faux male tyrant made him feel even more uncomfortable. He was now ashamed of his own errant ways and the meandering dissolution that had characterized the full extent of his own life’s course. It seemed no small irony to him now that he had fallen into a similar degree of disgrace at his own trail’s end. And so much even more horrendous that all these young innocent souls had encountered it too soon at their own earthly path’s beginning! His shame at being an inadvertent provocateur encouraging this situation precluding him from turning tail and promptly exiting. He did not wish to create a scene. So he wandered politely about the bacchanal in progress. Avoiding it by averting his eyes as much as possible continuously traversing to different parts of their play space on the most mundane of pretexts. At one point he found himself sequestered outside in the chill of night air upon a balcony. Feeling relieved at last to be away from the ever building maelstrom of collective deviance. Only to twist about at the unexpected moan of a young naked girl behind him to the side hanging inverted by her ankles by being willingly trussed up comically like an old world delicatessen Salami.
Now much later, and miles away by himself he could only feel a physical dramatic sense of being unclean. Polluted by something much larger than any single individual. A sensation that hovered beyond the reach of his own meager powers to swat it away. A prevailing social trend that was inimical to the latest generation that he had, in his own way, deigned to participate in along with his own kind. A sense of deflated pride by the fact that he had chosen his own egoism over a responsibility to have in some small way create offspring that in turn might have helped to counter this sort of unwholesome mindset. What pleasure of the heart and spirit had he missed by not bonding with someone else long ago? And had the presence of mind and faith to trust that their own hazardous hand in hand journey from the perils of youth might have led to something wonderful? How pathetic a human being he was! He and so many others of his own era. All those wretches that had somehow missed the point that the temperance of the past as embodied by their parents however banal might have balanced out their unruly leanings that made them easy game to the traps hidden in popular agendas as devised by cynical elites had so easily preyed upon. His mind’s eye flashed again and again playing the images of those betrayed innocent women from the previous night within an inner slideshow. Each one being so guiltless yet somehow fundamentally betrayed. Let down by popular fallacies that might displace too many of them from what might have been some better outcome. Too bad that such things were currently the way of the world as designated for us all!